How can I meet a guy? Why is it so hard?

I just want a relationship with a fun, reasonably attractive guy who treats me really well (the last one didn't)... And I want it soon! But it's so hard to even get a date, especially with someone on equal levels of childish/playfulness as me. I don't know ANY guys anywhere, and I'm confident that I am a pretty girl.. I just intimidate every boy in my high school and I don't know HOW to land a date or find a good guy? What do I do?!


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Most Helpful Guy

  • You ever lose something, but then, a while later, when you forgot about it, it appears out of no where? Guys will come if you stop searching for a guy. What will happen is when you search, you become more superficial on *who* you want. You're now looking for Mr. Perfect

    Take a breath, close your eyes, and before you open them, you'll have a guy waiting for you to see him :)

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    • I just don't like the idea of waiting for some sort of 'destiny'.. its just a stupid excuse not to go out and get what you want when you want it. And it's so hard to just wait, because I would love to meet someone new, I want it more than anything, I just don't know HOW to when I have no opportunities (or good crushes), especially when I don't know any guys, not even guy friends.

    • Then do something you love, and people who love it or love to do it will follow. I like making music and playing music. At school, I play on the piano sometimes for fun. 3 times I had a girl come up and say I sound good, but of course I didn't have contacts or common sense to expand on that. Make guy friends with the intention of just being friends. Boyfriends will pursue

What Guys Said 17

  • People should embrace being single. It's not at you shouldn't want a relationship but if you can't enjoy the single version of yourself you won't enjoy a relationship.

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    • I concur with this...i find it sad that people are so quick to cleanse themselves of "single" status. That desperation and insecurity can only go away when one EMBRACES being single.

    • this is very good advice. me like

    • I am happy with myself as I am and I am accomplished, but I want to fall in love. Who doesn't?

  • Just remain being you, you can almost bet there's guy looking at you now, you just need to be patient, and don't act as if your desperate, try acting like you are not looking or even available, guys pick up on this, and if you come across to needy, they won't bother, so act as if your happy being single, and this will get the guys wondering eyes fixed on you,x

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  • I have same problem but with girls. I just want a girl that doesn't play games with me and is serious about a relationship and appreciates a guy who treats her well. I'm a good guy. But, a ton of girls out there find that boring even though I'm not a boring person. But, theyre all hooked on the crazy agreesive bad boy types who are covered with tattoos and they just end up getting hurt and then complain about it and how guys are so terrible. When all they're going after is one group of guys. There's plenty of

    Good men out there. I'm one of them. I wish I could say, Date me! Lol but its not the simple. Just keep looking and the right one will come along. Also, look to see if there are trends in the guys your going for. Avoid those trends and try to go for different guys. You may find out your just going for the wrong group of guys.

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    • Well I THINK I'm going for the right guy group. I just look for guys who are semi-attractive (I don't care if theyre average, or models) and who look like they're shy or not cocky high school jocks like most of the guys in my school. I just look for different, nice-looking guy, isn't that the right group of guys to look for?

  • Widen your net a bit. Start volunteering on the weekends if you have time - I met my current girlfriend when we were both volunteering at a local food bank. Or start going to a gym outside of school. The bottom line is, if the pool of eligible guys at your HS is too small, get out there and start looking for guys in your age range outside of school.

    Good Luck!

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  • If your confident - prove it. What is stopping you asking him out Ms Confidence?

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    • What's stopping me is not having a 'him'.. I've asked out two guys before, and I liked them a bunch, but now I see zero guys in school that I even want to talk to, or who seem to be reasonable options.

  • Join your school clubs, or go into the library and start talking with the guy whom you find attractive.

    There's a lot of ways.

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  • try getting to know average guys you think "Isn't your Type, or Too Nice." chances are you'll find happiness.

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  • are you open for an ldr relationship, if yes you can just check my profile, I am not handsome but yes I will treat you well.

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    • lol

    • Well at least I was not expecting lol from you, however god bless you and you always be happy.

    • you 2 might be made for each other, asking some random girl over the web to be you ldr girl friend and then the girl just laughing at the guy who makes a move and asks her out.

  • stop looking. I have the perfect article for you! I wish you could trust me enough to talk but I know how these online things are.

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  • "they say if you go out to find a girlfriend, you will end up with the wrong one" ~ I think that also goes for girls

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  • They aren't hard to find, you probably overlook them for Mr. Loud and Confident like most high school girls do. Try the quiet dude who tends to keep to himself.

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    • I already do, I love guys like that. Its just there are not very many of them around school. I actually avoid the loud ones, I dislike those types.

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    • No. I don't really hav any male friends anymore. :(

    • Well high school is almost over so soon yo will meet new people in college since you have a bad rep in high school

  • Just be yourself you will find someone. I wish I was in the same town you in. I would ask you out because you seem nice. Don't worry someone nice will eventually ask you out and he will come out of no where when you least expect it.

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  • Forget about it, you're still at school. Find something you love and do it, guys will appear soon enough.

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  • I ask myself that very same question, and I haven't figured the answer out yet...

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  • To be brutally honest you sound too immature to handle a relationship once you got one, focus on making yourself happy with new hobbies and interests first.

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    • How do I sound immature? And I already have hobbies and interests, I am a very individualized person and I am very confident with who I am. I had a relationship and HE was the one who hurt me and f***ed up, I was a good girlfriend and I want to be a good one to someone who actually treats me well. So how can I meet a good guy?

    • "But it's so hard to even get a date, especially with someone on equal levels of childish/playfulness as me. " Nuff said.

    • Just because I said that does not mean I am immature. It means that I like to have a good time, joke around, and laugh and adventure.

  • "attractive guy " ? that's why . girls only care about looks. I'm going to die alone :'( I hate being ugly

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  • If your standards are producing next to no datable guys then you have two options. One, lower your standards and date guys you might not initially think are everything you want (you may be surprised) or you can continue the standard you have set, but you'll have to deal with the lack of dates that result from this standard.

    Essentially, this isn't a problem of other people, but an internal problem with your own standards. The change is going to have to come from within you, or you'll just have to continue to put up with being dateless.

    If your standards apply to say .5% of the male population, you're going to have a much harder time than somebody who has standards that apply to 30% of the male population. This isn't to say the relationship will last or be everything they hoped for, but their minimum standards to date a guy are obviously lower than yours, so they will find dates easier.

    If you're having a very hard time finding a guy to date it means you have stringent standards. You're likely picking from a small pool of guys who probably have a ton of women that desire them so you ALSO have a ton of competition. As the pool gets smaller, dating gets harder and harder.

    The only thing you can really do is widen the net or keep waiting. Dating a guy doesn't mean that he's the knight in shining armor prince charming. It means the guy is interesting and attractive enough to warrant seeing what's there.

    Think of it like this, if you date often, you have a higher chance of finding somebody who you like. If you date 10 people and 9 of them are terrible dates that you never see again, you could consider that a failure rate of 90 percent. Now if you dated 100 people and still held that 90 percent failure rate, you still had 10 guys who were successful dates. That means you just increased the likelyhood of finding the right guy for you 10 fold. You don't really lose anything by dating more often. I'm not saying date every guy whether you're attracted or not, but if you feel like it's too hard, chances are you're making it that way.

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What Girls Said 1

  • Maybe you should make yourself more available that is almost always the problem, but that doesn´t mean being flirty will all the guys. If you are always with your girlfriends it will intimidate men. See who you have a better relationship with and flirt with that guy. If all the guys seeing you all the time they will never take you seriously which makes them think you are not girlfriend/date material.

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