Is it wrong to think that you "deserve" a woman you think is of high quality?

I went out on a date for an hour because she is busy with her work schedule and I have homework to do, but I found this woman to be very attractive, intelligent, and funny!

Thing is, most guys who see this would actually think they don't deserve such a great woman, but I am very confident in myself and would like to see this woman again.

Is it wrong to think I deserve her?

I ask this question because Nikkibee24 said I "you deserve her?", "you're weird", and "it wasn't a date" then blocked me because of it.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • There will be many insecure, envious men and many insecure, envious women who will tell you that you don't 'deserve' her. The truth is this: the whole concept of 'deserving' something is subjective. There is no objective answer to the question of who deserves what.

    I hope you'd also agree that two individuals have the right to be in a relationship if they both consent. Do you know better than she does what SHE wants? Of course not. By cutting your connection with her, you'd be depriving her of the chance to be with you: you'd be making the decision for her.

    You don't have the RIGHT to any relationship with any person, even an unattractive person. But you do have the right to TRY. Many women find confidence a turn-on anyway, and, if you don't put your interests first, who is going to put your interests first?

    So, go for it. Don't worry about what others say. What matters is what you want and what she wants. Who knows, maybe she feels SHE isn't good enough for you!

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What Girls Said 4

  • Ok, here's the thing. You can think you deserve a mate who you admire. That's fine, I think healthy people should want an estimable mate. However, feeling entitled to a *specific person* is not ever OK. This is unhealthy, and indicates the objectifying culture has been internalized. "High quality" ladies run from such chaps. You think you are worth her time? Cool, show her what a swell guy you are. Think back though: last time you felt like this and it didn't work out, did she turn you down and you were disappointed, or did you get mad? If you answered the latter, you probably have an entitlement issue and need to do some soul searching before you find yourself a lady. If the former, you just need to find the right one! Hope this helps!

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    • Last time I felt like this I had a long relationship with a girl many guys before her were too scared or p**** to date.

  • It's kind of a weird question to me.

    The only reason I would say you don't "deserve" someone is if you don't respect them or you treat them poorly.

    Other than that, it's just going to depend on whether or not she is attracted to you/wants to be with you.

    It sounds like you have high confidence and think you'd make a good boyfriend. There's nothing wrong with that.

    On the flip side, if she doesn't want to be with you, that doesn't mean that you don't "deserve" her or that you're unworthy of her, it just means she doesn't feel the same way about you.

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    • Yeah of course, if she doesn't like me I would accept it, and move on to a different woman.

  • No, nothing wrong with it.

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  • Wow, way to escalate this. To answer your question, it was the way you phrased it. It sounded cocky, sarcastic, and disrespectful towards women. You spent almost 5 minutes bragging to me about your dating life and how you had 3 separate dates on Valentine's and so on. First I call bullsh*t, second, who cares? Why do you feel the need to brag about something like that to someone you don't even know? Is your self esteem actually low that you feel you have overly confident to compensate?

    I said it was weird because you said out of the blue, "I think I deserve her." Who honestly says things like that?

    And lastly, I said it wasn't a date because it was a meeting to talk about information, you failed to include that in your question. You said you just wanted to meet up to get her input on some things, and she happened to be beautiful so because she was beautiful, that made it a date? Maybe your definition of a date is different that other peoples definitions of a date.

    Oh and one last thing, to keep asking people you don't know, what is unattractive with your face is just awkward and you need to stop. Nobody is going to honestly tell you because it would be rude to do so.

    I mean this in the nicest way possible, but I think you need to work on some self esteem issues. I am a Psychology undergrad, so I can read people pretty easily. Take care.

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    • I wasn't bragging you asked what I did for Valentine's Day.

      Out of the blue? I said she was funny, intelligent, and beautiful I think I deserve her.

      I said it was for an hour, and I agree it wasn't a date it was more of a causal meeting and get to know each other :)

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    • Long story, NickInVideo!

    • That's funny just being honest

What Guys Said 2

  • I don't go by "deserving" but moreso mutual attraction.

    "Deserving" sounds like it is an entitlement and has ego thrown in and crosses the line from confidence to cocky and also turns the woman into a prize rather than a person.

    A lot of people do have confidence issues. That's their own problem and any girl with relationship value will cause them to lose confidence.

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    • Great answer. I agree, the word "deserving" makes it sound like if you "deserve" someone, you're entitled to be with them. She may or may not like you, regardless of your qualities. And if she doesn't like you, it doesn't mean that you were unworthy of her, it just means that the mutual attraction wasn't there.

    • I agree with your answer but I was thinking of it like those one guys who say they think they don't deserve a girl because she is too good for them.

  • I just want someone who makes me happy.

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