Why do people relate money to relationships so often? How important is money to you?

I've seen lots and lots of questions here on GAG about people asking things that usually combine "money" and "relationships", like:

how are the bills supposed to be payed for during dates?

would you decide to date a person based on their wealth?

is money an important factor when considering people to date?

knowing how to save money is an important factor to look for on a significant other?

would you stop dating someone just because they can't manage their finances?

Would you go out with a poor guy/girl you liked or a rich one that liked you?

would you break up with someone because they don't earn much money?

etc etc etc etc

why is money so important to these people, when everybody, in the majority here, claims that personality is what counts?

is this really an issue people care deeply about?

personally, I have a dream job that won't make me rich, but will make me really happy. I want to be a book editor, in a smal country (10 million people) where reading is not something people do that much. But I don't care, it's what I want to do. I choose that over a enormous house with servants and two cars on the garage.

my boyfriend has told me time and time again he doesn't know what he's gonna do with his future (we're both 18) and maybe he won't have a extremely good job, etc.

I don't really care. I'm all for "love and a small house" (a saying in my country) in these kinds of things. I'm sure will come up with a solution in case we want kids and need to raise our income, and all that. I think that two people can always come up with solutions to their problems if they never stop trying - and I never give up.

why is money of such HUUUUGE importance to people when considering others to date?

would you stay in a relationship just because you two were amazing financial partners?

would you break up with someone just because their financial life was a mess?

summing this all up: how important is money to you, personaly? Is it really a key factor when considering other people for a long time comitment? Explain why or why not, please.

Updates:
I'm not trying to say I have an idealistic view of things... And I'm Portuguese; we're almost as bad as Greece is XD , and almost 20% of the population is unnemployed...


I don't say that money doesn't make things easier, or that living comfortably isn't better than living in poverty. My point was: two people can solve things better than one can. And if you're broke for a couple of months, I believe that in the third things will be easier and you'd have to come up with a solution.
Because there's *always* a solution.


Breaking up over money or getting together because the other has no money problems, or because you've thinked of it and thought they'd be good financial parters, is just something I cannot understand.


That should be secondary. And people should only move together and the liked, after they've discussed this, so no illusions shred the relationship for the couple.


A Realistic View of things... Prevention. And Solutions for the problems that arise.
that's what a couple should be focused on... Together.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • When you live alone and are able to sustain your own lifestyle money isn't much of an issue. Money becomes an issue when you feel responsible for someone else and you feel that you have to sacrifice your own needs to fulfill the needs of someone else. For example in times of financial needs, you'll have to give up your savings for the trip to cuba every year for a trip to the nearest park. Doesn't sound very appealing knowing how much you loved those trips.

    Put kids into the the previous senario, you'll have to make more sacrifices meaning no trip at all while the financial crisis resolves itself. In these situations, people often enjoy to banter with blame games because there's a money shortage and sacrifices have to be made. Often times couples aren't will try to salvage all they can and leave the situation instead of making a mutual effort to survive the crisis. What do you think Marriage is? It's a contract that two person sign in order to guarantee that the partner won't just run away once sh!t hits the fan.

    You asked would you ever go for a poor girl? Yes, only and only if she has skills that might help survive hard conditions. Ex: Cooking skills (raw food - easy to come by = Transformer into Energy) Social skills ( Hey neighbor, we are out of milk this week can we get some, since you have a Cow.) and Maternal instinct (knows where the kids are 24/7 and caring enough to not Scream & Shout about what you already know is happening).

    If the woman has poor social skills that's a real killer, for me. (even in dating)

    When dating, the important thing is personality; how well do you connect with each other, because what you are actually looking for is? can I live with this person, can I survive crisis with this person, will I be able to deal with this persons behavior in such times. When you're into a more serious commitment such as Marriage, Money becomes the extra added feature on top of all the relationship responsibilities. Money in the case of marriage is there to provide the lifestyle of the family.

    For a home to be safe, you need to ensure that all the elements that make it safe are in their best condition. Protect electric plugs for the babies, knife and forks are safely organised (imagine a fork and a knife on a bed), That your laundry is separated clean/dirty simply for hygiene reasons lol etc...The list is long but you get the Idea. You want to build a HOME.

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What Guys Said 5

  • It doesn't matter much when dating but it is a big deal if you get married and have kids.

    Not just earning, but responsibility with money.

    I didn't realize it when I got married but legally it's not much more then a long term financial commitment. None of the other things you think of as part of marriage are legally binding. Being loving, caring, compassionate, faithful, intimate? Those can vanish at a whim. But if you earn more, they will be sharing your money - even if the marriage ends and you don't speak any more.

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  • In the current USA money and relationships are nearly always in close proximity! Women are usually found with the guys with money, even if the guy is gay!

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    • In the case of women who give you down arrows, they're nearly ALWAYS with the gay guys most of the time unless the guy drives a Porsche or a Maserati, or something similar.

  • You just asked a very good question, and I can easily say you are a good girl, happiness from within and just being happy with the person you love are important, you just don't have to be with a guy just because his wealthy. Money is a necessity, but true love has nothing to with allbdo this.

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  • Relationships are always complicated it's just not about money :p

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  • it isn't important to me. As long as they are making about an average wage that's good enough for me

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    • but if I'm just dating someone I pay no attention to money

What Girls Said 9

  • When you first meet someone you don't think much about what job they have, how much money they earn and what potential future earnings they may have.

    But as you start a relationship with that person, move in together and have to share expenses, not having money is going to put pressure on the relationship. It determines what kind of lifestyle you will have; if you will be able to afford to go out for dinner once a month or once a year, be able to fix the broken plumbing in the house or have to live with it for months, if you will both be contributing equally or if you are going to have to work hard and pay for everything while he is unemployed playing video games all day.

    See what I mean? And if you have been down that road before you might put more thought into what job and income a person has when you decide if you are going to let it become a serious relationship or not.

    As they say, of course love can conquer all, but having money will make things a lot easier.

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  • money isn't important to me at all. However, them having some ambition in life is important. I could care less about money though.

    For some people, money is important because if the other person doesn't have money, you go broke easier. And, it causes fights because when you have no money you are stressed more. And, most people these days also want to be secure financially.

    I don't care about money because I feel like mmoney can't buy my happiness. I would much rather live in a box with my soul mate than live in a castle with some dude I decided to marry because of his money.

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  • It's great that you know what you want, are in a dream job and don't place a huge importance on money. But I think that's pretty idealistic. Money is not everything, but it is important. The majority of humans on this planet want a better life, want nice things, want to have a nice house by the water. Be able to take the kids to Disneyland, etc. Of course it's possible to be happy without all these things. But I don't think there is anything wrong with wanting to make money, and to have money, etc.

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  • I know we all have ideas and such but I think it is more about spending habits. I have an engineer brother who is cheap and I have sister in law that shop like crazy.

    What do you think most of their fights as a marry couple are? Money.

    So money isn't always a big deal when someone has money and can spend it or give it. However, when their approach to money is different then ___ happens.

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    • good point of view... voted up *

  • It won't matter much if you're dating or in a boyfriend girlfriend relationship but if you're thinking about making a family and getting married money will matter because there'll be a house, kids, you and your wife and a whole a lot of stuff that need money .. but that doesn't mean the person you're with cares more about money than about you :3

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  • I don't want to be rich, I need to be comfortable. I want to live a very adventurous life. And I'll need a husband who can pay bills while I'm out traveling and bein free. I want to be the girl who saw the world. Not the girl who left high school went straight to college then straight to medical school then straight to working and never saw anything. But if I could paint or draw. I would be content with bein a struggling artist all my life. So I don't know lol

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  • Yes money is important to me. I don't need a guy to be rich or for them to take care of me. But I need them to at least have a job and be able to take care of himself. I've been in relationships where I've had to take care of my boyfriend and pay for our apartment, food, and all the other things because he lost his job and had no savings. It was very stressful for the both of us.

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  • Honestly, I wouldn't want to date a guy who didn't have a job. I guess everyone is just looking for someone to take care of them, mostly girls. I'm all for the "love and a small house" thing, though the world revolves around money. You can't have the small house without an income of some sort. I find guys who have a good, steady job more attractive then a guy working at a fast food place. I'm about to sound like a hypocrite here, but I recently got laid off and have no income, but my boyfriend of 7 months has a good job, full time, benefits, $19 a hour. I'm on unemployment, only getting $100 a week, and when we go out to eat I feel bad that he usually pays for everything so I eat cheaper then I normally would. He pays for the more expensive places we go eat, usually. I say usually a lot, because there are times where I can get my own food. So I try to help him out as much as I can, like going to pick up something he needs for works, bringing him some lunch at work, helping clean the house, etc. Even if I did have a job and was making money I would still do all those things, I just feel the need to help out since he does so much for me. Anyways, to sum it all up, I'd pick love over money.

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  • all I need is food and soap... and a place to sleep but I can sleep under a bridge, if I'm warm enough.. ha ha I don't need money.

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