Guy just wants to be friends, but still wants to talk and hang out...

I've already asked a version of this question but new things have developed... thanks in advance for all your help and advice! :)

After dating for a couple of weeks, my guy told he just wanted to be friends (for financial reasons) and he didn't want to date in general. However, he said he was still attracted to me, still wanted to hang out , and talk and hopefully date again in the future.

We went on a 'date' last night and it felt no different than we were dating. We ended the night with watching a movie, during which we cuddled a little bit and held hands.

If he just wants to be friends... why did we cuddle and hold hands? I am confused!

Updates:
and seriously, who keeps rating my questions as one star? They are good questions...

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I would say he has feelings for you. Feelings are feelings, it doesn't matter if you call it a date or dating. Just because you label as something different doesn't mean the feelings change. It almost sounds like he doesn't want to date because he can't buy you things or can't afford dinners or activities out on the town even for himself. It depends what your needs and wants are. But in my opinion, dating shouldn't be about spending money on each other. Yeah its sweet and thoughtful but there's other ways to be thoughtful. Like sending you a text asking how your days going and such. It sounds like you need to talk to him more about what's going on.

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What Guys Said 5

  • Talking and hanging out are what friends do. He could just be looking for sex though.

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    • well it is exactly what we did before... he even said that he didn't want to have sex until we were in a committed relationship because sex means something to him and he didn't want to ruin what we had.

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    • No it doesn't, when we went out, his card was declined so I had to pay for everything and I'm totally cool with it. I could tell he was really embarrassed though. Pride is very important to men, right? Especially regarding money since the social norm is that men should be providing for their women...

    • aww that was sweet of you. I imagined I'd been dumped on the spot with some of the women I've been with lol.

      Anyway, yep, incomes are one of those traits used by guys to prove greater manliness to each other and to women lol. These days, I doubt "providing" means much, considering all the unabashed deadbeat dads out there.

  • Friends talk and hangout don't they?

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    • read the question.

    • Ah sorry. Well he probably just can't want to rush it or put a title on it

  • He has no job and lives with his parents. That is why he won't date you even though he likes you. It has nothing to do with sex and whether he stayed the night like that other dude is saying lol. The guy has no pride, doesn't feel like he can be a man for you because he's broke living with mom.

    I'm in the same boat, laid off, back at home, feeling like not enough of a man to be a good boyfriend.

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    • I've told him that it doesn't matter to me though, how can I convince him that I don't care?

    • It's something he feels inside of him so it doesn't matter that YOU don't care. My advice is to just be a friend to him and be encouraging to him and hopefully his life will turn around and he'll date you. I would try to limit it to normal friend stuff though until you actually get some kind of commitment out of him or risk him seeing you as just a friends with benefits.

  • Have you hooked up with him?

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    • why does that matter?

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    • well the point is that he doesn't consider us to be dating because he has said he isn't ready for dating right now... even though it feels like dating. Either way, we are going to church together tomorrow... I think that means something too.

    • It definitely means something, so it's good you're going to church tomorrow. The more varied your shared experiences the better off you'll be from the perspective of starting a relationship, so it very much ISN'T all about sex. BUT, sex is a HUGE part of the bonding you need to take place to cement this relationship. So when you do spend time cuddling and you feel he's got a hard on, you should try to escalate things. You're on passionate night of SOBER sex away from a breakthrough.

  • hes looking for fwb.

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    • But we haven't slept together... don't you need to be having sex to be fwb?

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    • What do you mean most women would not put up with this. and seriously, stop saying he is only after sex. Because he is NOT. I know him, and you don't.

    • hes not only after sex, I never said he's ONLY after it.

      plenty of women if a man doesn't put on the moves are going to think that he doesn't like her.

      Or that he's too much of a wuss to do anything and move on to another man who will.

What Girls Said 1

  • He's keeping you around as an option. If he was really into you he would make you his girlfriend and not leave any openings for any other guy to come and claim ya. I get the financial bit and the religious thing but to me it just sounds like he's making excuses. He's holding your hand and cuddling because he's attracted to you but just isn't into you enough to really want to be w you. Sorry I know that sucks to hear but that's just the way I see it. My advice to you is to try your luck w someone else that can give you what you want. :)

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