My"best friend" is trying to date my ex lover..is it OK to be this mad?

id been seeing this guy for 3 months and we had a physical relationship as well as a deep friendship,

then he met my charming best friend twice, and told me he thought he might like her as well,

so I called off anything beyond platonic friends and told her the situation, worried because the last guy I dated she ended up with as well, she said not to worry nothing would happen she was seeing someone anyway

2 weeks later she an that guy broke it off she said she likes my friend and wants to date him with my blessings



and I said it was to soon, she threw a fit then said shed wait for a few months to officially date him and I kind of blew up. and said uve been my friend of 15 years..can you please NOT go after him? she said I'm selfish,

to complicate things before all this went down all 3 of us where getting a place together, obviously hell no I'm not living with them that's awkward. eventhough I found the place and set everything up, sign*

is it OK to want to end the friendship? I feel a bit betrayed

Updates:
we talked...it didn't go well. beforehand but I've talked to her again about it and she said I was still being selfish so I went for it,

I said "ok IF it came down to it and I asked you to not do this or id leave where would you stand? I've known you 15 years youve met him 4 times in your LIFE "

her "so your ending our friendship?"

me "no"

her "i don't do ultimatums he makes me happy"

I guess I know where she stands.

i I should add she's doing this 3 weeks after me an him broke it off, its not like its been months or years I literally got my things back from his place 2 nights ago

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Baby girl I feel that you have the perfect reason to be mad.an be mad at her.it seems like to me she gets with every guy you try to get with or have already been with an if you asked me she's not a friend at all! I had a friend that did me like that and me and this "friend" grew up togeather sence we were four years old and he slept with my girlfriend an she wad my 1st love and he knew it but he didn't care.after that he's tried to an has gotten with every girl I try to get with.and what fuvkes me up the most is he's ugly as f*** but these girls still like em for some reason.nd I have no idea why! But anyway I just wanted to say I understand wear your coming from and you should deff be mad at her because if she was a friend to you at all then shed care about your feelings an wouldn't even look at a guy you like an try to get with' let alone get with them.ya know? If I was you I wouldn't have anything to do with her anymore and go on with your life because their is true friends outtheir! I hope you get past this situation an get a guy thatl treat you like the beautiful women you are! I know how hurtful a situation like that can be.have a wonderful day gorgeous!'

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What Guys Said 9

  • i know someone just like your friend... I'm a guy... he did it to me... I forgave him and we stayed friends... he later came with another proposition for another girlfriend of mine... so I followed the old proverb: fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me... thus, we are not friends anymore... I was able to keep my pride and I'm still able to breath and sleep at night...

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  • You're far from selfish. this is just wrong on many levels, an I bet it won't last long between those two, an watch her come running to you an apologizing. Stay Beautiful an Kind as you've always been.It Suck losing friendship over Selfish/Lust from So-called friends.

    behind your back.

    If they Respect you, they will respect your feelings, if they don't they talk secretly behind your back.

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  • The general rule is...if your okay with it, its okay for her to proceed. If your not, its not okay and theyre crossing a line they're not supposed to cross. So, if it hurts you she's doing that then its not okay. You need to tell clearly how you feel first. And if she basically says screw you, then end the friendship. But don't end the friendship without telling her how you feel.

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  • Here's my opinion on this situation. Whether you all like it or not, I'm just being honest. Because we all see things from our perspectives, but we cannot truly see things objectively unless we try view things from a third person view on how it affects everybody, instead of how it just affects us.

    While she does have the right to date whoever she wants, you have the right to be friends with whoever you want. If the guy is single, and you're no longer with him, and she is single, it's not cheating of any kind. They both have the right to date each other if they want to.

    But I understand that it does make you very uncomfortable. Because your ex is someone you probably want to distance yourself from, yet your friend who you are close to is essentially bringing your ex back into play. It could result in a lot of confusion and headache you want to avoid.

    So essentially, she had the right to date him and you have the right to end the friendship.

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  • What a ****... sorry someone you thought was a friend is doing this to you.

    Yes I'd end the one sided friendship. I'd do whatever I can to attempt to crush her spirit in the process. Call her a slut, spread rumors. After 15 years you've gotta have some juciy stuff on her. Spill it. Make her famous. F***her social life.

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    • Break the bitch. You gotta have some juicy details after 15 years. Especially since she lied about it asking if it was okay at first. I'd so whatever I could to ruin her life.

  • Leave them both. Friends don't do that to each other. You are a very pretty girl. I'm sure you will meet someone that deserves you.

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  • You broke up. If she wants a piece of him it doesn't hurt you. Get over it and be happy for em if it works out.

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  • Yes, it is OK to end the friendship.

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  • Breaking the bro code. That's f***ed up I'd be pissed.

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    • @ update: I don't care if it's 3 weeks, 3 months, 3 years. That's just f***ed up any way you cut it. There's too many people in this place to date your homies ex.

What Girls Said 9

  • Yeah..end both friendships. Reading this actually made me so sick I barely have it in me to comment. Because I had a "friend" just like her. These type of bitches are jealous of you. 15 years? So what, she most likely has been envious of your for a long time and try to always one up you. That guy is also a desperate loser too. Even if you live in Bumblefunk, Alabama (haha no need to offend anyone) there are hundreds of thousands of other people to date, yet he wants your friend? He is doing this for an ego high. Either he gets no p*ssy or he gets a thrill knowing he had two friends effortlessly. They won't last. Trust me. She will remain friendless and I'd worn your other friends in the group about her. She is vindictive and selfish. Keep your head up and move on with class as if you don't care, and NEVER I repeat NEVER talk to that guy again. Even if he was a homeless person begging you for a quarter. He is dirt below your feet since he has absolutely no respect for you or your feelings.

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  • Your "friend" is a bitch. Of course it's okay for you to be mad. Anybody would be. I had a "friend" who literally did that to me from sophomore year of high school to senior year. Luckily she's really ugly so it didn't work so well.

    It's like she doesn't know girl code. Don't go out with your friends' exes or your exes' friends. It just makes things awkward and unbearable. You should end the friendship and hang out with people who who have at least a shard of dignity.

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  • She sounds shady as hell. You don't need a friend like that. A true friend wouldn't try to get with your ex/crush/friend if you said it wasn't OK. Lose them both. You deserve better.

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  • You have every right to be mad and to worry, and never ever hang with her when you are with your man. She is not a real friend,15 years so what? loyalty is what counts!

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  • I learned the hard way never EVER mix friends with relationships.

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  • Chicks before Dicks ... Guess she doesn't know the "code". Anyways they're both a**holes and need to be dropped asap you don't need people like that in your life trust me.

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    • I've heard of bro's before hoe's. Chicks before Dicks is a first for me. Suppose cos I'm not a girl. That's a pretty cool saying.

  • find another friend.. most likely she'll do it again and again. this is the second time she dated your ex, obviously she is insensitive and definitely not a good friend.

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  • No it's not ok! Girl Code should NEVER be broken!

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  • Yes! She's not a true friend...you don't need people like her in your life.

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