Does sex have to be a challenge even when dating?

I've been dating the same man for over a year, we're engaged. My sex drive is stronger than his and I'm wondering if it's not fun for a guy to know that his girl is always ready? Is knowing that every time you initiate sex you'll get it a a turn off for a man in a relationship?


Most Helpful Guy

  • What? No! No offence intended, but this sounds completely ridiculous to me. I have been dating my girl for over six years, and I know she's always up for it. We have sex several times a day. I have no problem in knowing that she's always up for it. I have no problem knowing initiating will end well for me, and I can't think of why this would be a bad thing. The only complaint I have is that I almost always initiate it. Beyond that, I'm good.

    Best I can figure, your man's problem is just that his sex drive is lower. If you're not getting it enough from him, you might be able to initiate it yourself. Just know that if his sex drive really is lower, then you might not always get it. As for your question, in general, I would suggest talking to him about it. I mean if you can't talk to your fiancé about this, then who the hell can you talk to? Just find the time to talk about it, and see if you can't work something out.

    Best of luck to you.

    • Thank you...he has had some "performance" issues and I think this may be part of it. We're very open and communicate very well. I think I will talk to him and let him know that I love him... I want him and I'm open to talking about it and seeing how he's feeling etc...I initiate most of the time...maybe I need to chill out a bit and let him take the reigns...thanks!

    • Sure. That other guy who said that he might feel emasculated if he finds he can't keep up, makes a solid point. It can make a guy feel like he might not be good enough. Just something to keep in mind.

    • I'll def keep that in mind...I'd never want him to feel bad...I'm very conscious of that and it's been on my mind... Thanks again for great feedback.


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What Guys Said 4

  • It wouldn't be for me.

    I don't think that many men would prefer a 'challenge'.

    I think that some men feel emasculated when they can't keep up.

    But beyond that, I think low-sex-drive partners tend to often feel like the other 'always' wants sex and end up wanting it less, while high-sex-drive partners tend to feel rejected and hurt and frustrated, all of which make them even more obsessed.

    Don't get married if this doesn't improve. If it doesn't get better, it will tend to get worse.

  • Not at all, but try and make sure you initiate sex now and then, how you do this only you can find that out, but if he's doing all the initiating, then its time you took the lead at times, make it sexy, turn him on, don't just throw yourself at him, make him want you, activate his imagination by walking around with a short t-shirt and no panties, something that gets his blood flowing without any thoughts but of you,x

  • For me it would be a big turn off

  • For me, a girl with a high sex drive is a TURN-ON. It's good to feel desired by a girl.

    Also, I like to be woken up by sex. For example, if my girlfriend starts riding me when I'm asleep, that's a turn-on for me.


What Girls Said 2

  • Why don't you initiate it instead of laying can you guess if I'm horny.

    • I initiate most of the time...that's what I meant by "always knowing you'll get it".. I'm always the one wanting it...and I feel like 90% of the time he's doing it to satisfy me...not him...ya know?

  • Wouldn't he be happy that for once a girl is willing and ready for some action? looool. He is a man after all...