I'm utterly devastated. I can't stop crying. I'm sorry this is so long, but I need advice : (
I was in bed with my boyfriend and half asleep. He was awake and texting (and drunk). I opened my eyes up and saw him texting some girl and being very flirty. He closed the conversation, and when he did, I saw that he texted a different girl saying he was thinking of the half-naked pic she sent him months ago.
My stomach dropped and I couldn't believe it. I confronted him about it right then but he denied it. Started calling me crazy, but I know what I saw. I kept pushing and he finally admitted that she "randomly" sent him a pic, but that it was completely unsolicited (which I highly doubt). When I brought up him texting her, he denied that, too. I threatened that if I looked at his phone, he meant to tell me that I wouldn't find the same text I just saw minutes ago? He looked and said "it's not there." Meaning he deleted it.
I left in a hurt rage and am completely heartbroken. We had this same issue before...he encourages girls and flirts inappropriately with them. He called me crying and apologizing profusely begging me to forgive him, that he can't live without me. That he was just "feeling insecure and for some stupid reason went to trash for validation."
I don't know what to do. This was the first guy after a string of horrible men that I finally felt that I lucked out with him. We talked about getting married and having a family and future together, but now it all feels destroyed. He's been texting me that he's so sorry he ruined the best thing that ever happened to him and can't live without me.
I wanted to spend my life this man, but I'm worried it will never be the same. What if he doesn't change? What if I just constantly worry about trusting him and being good enough for him?
Am I overreacting? I know there are couples that experience one physically cheating on another and they make it work.
I just don't know what to do. Any personal experiences to relate would be helpful.
Most Helpful Guy
You're right to be upset, but you are over-reacting. Cheating on you, means he slept with one of these girls. From what we can see, this didn't happen.
You need to stop labelling every sh*tty thing he does as "cheating" because you're diminishing the word and the act.
Something else you should do - stop thinking of marrying *anyone* if you're just going to cut and run at the first sign that things aren't fairy-tale perfect.
Marriage is hard work. It's not a Disney love story. If you can't do the work when the going gets tough, then you have no business getting married in the first place, no matter how much you might love the idea. Your idea of marriage is an illusion.0