I feel sick to my stomach today. My girlfriend of 2 years has been pressuring me to propose for several months now. At first, it was acceptable to say I wasn't ready, but now she just thinks I'm incapable of making the move.
She gave me an ultimatum 2 months ago. She apologized, and I decided we better look at rings. We picked one out, and I have since purchased it. The date tied to her ultimatum has come and gone, and she's been a nervous wreck ever since. She broke up with me last week in a whirlwind of emotion, but then apologized the next day and told me that she was just stressed and tired of waiting.
I feel incredibly guilty that I haven't proposed yet. I feel obligated. She's leaving town tomorrow for business, but she also made plans to try on dresses next week while she's out of town, expecting that we would be engaged by then. She doesn't think I know this, but she's hinted at it. So basically, if I don't propose tonight, she has to cancel those dates.
Honestly, I was looking forward to a few days apart, just to clear my head of all the obligations, but I fear we may not make it through the day.
I'm just confused. Why don't I have that overwhelming feeling to propose? Why am I dragging my feet? Is it stubbornness? I don't won't to break up, but I feel pushed around. Emasculated. It has to be my decision. I'm sorry if my timing is inconvenient, but I can't do this for the wrong reasons.
All of this stress has taken it's toll on our relationship. I don't feel like we've been happy for awhile. It's not about us anymore, it's about wedding plans. Ugh. I'm frustrated. Sorry for the sketchy details.
What do you guys think? Do I just have cold feet? Is there more to the way I'm feeling than meets the eye?
Most Helpful Girl
Two years is not that long a time to be with someone, even if you are really in love. You still need to be totally sure before you make that step, and if you're not ready, you're not ready. I feel for your girlfriend and I think it's great that you are so considerate of her feelings, but you should only propose because YOU are 100% ready to get married. Do not let yourself be pressured into it. In fact, her pressure might be exactly what is stopping you from feeling enthusiastic about proposing.
You need to have a serious talk with your girlfriend and try to come to a compromise. If she is giving ultimatums, pressuring you, and breaking up with you on a whim because she is so focused on getting married, then something is wrong in your relationship. Talk to her and let her know that you love her, and you want to get married eventually, but she needs to let you propose in your own time. The additional pressure and stress of her obsession with marriage will only ruin the experience for both of you. Ask her to be patient and give you one more chance to propose on your own terms. Then take some time to think about it without feeling pressured.1
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