Found ex on online site. Message her?

So I stumbled across my exes profile on this online friend-making site. It's not a dating site, per se, just a place to meet people. Anyway, we had a huge (I mean nuclear) falling out over a year ago when we broke up and haven't talked since. She was my first love but we were friends first. I was thinking about sending her a message just saying Hi and seeing how things were going. Something that sounded like this:

"Hey B,

Not quite sure how I stumbled onto your profile on here seeing as I rarely use this. (bad)Luck? A cruel twist of fate? Anyway, it's been awhile and I just wanted to say "Hi" and see how things were going.

I'd rather not bring up the past because it was just such a FUBAR situation at the time and, for what it's worth, I'm sorry for the part I played in it, but I'm totally over it now. I'm not sure how you feel about reading this, I can't imagine you're too thrilled, but I really just wanted to try and extend the olive branch and see how an old friend was doing.

Hope to hear from you,

S"


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Your message is sweet but you should change one sentence.

    "'d rather not bring up the past because it was just such a FUBAR situation at the time and, for what it's worth, I'm sorry for the part I played in it, but I'm totally over it now. "

    First you don't want to bring up the past, yet you still talk about it...then you apologized with a sentence containing "but"...so it is not a real apology but an excuse.

    So work on the first part of the sentence and delete the last part of it: "but I'm totally over it now.".

    The rest is good!

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What Girls Said 2

  • If an ex boyfriend messages the girl only wonders why the hell is he messaging and what does he want. If you don't want things back I would say just ignore her

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  • My ex also called my a stalker, and I know that if I messaged him on any site, especially one I didn't know he was on while we were together, he'd go crazy and think I've been looking for him everywhere on the internet. So I think your ex might think the same. If you really do want to message her, keep it short. No explanation why you're on that site, how you found her, and no talking about the past. Just send a short and casual message.

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What Guys Said 2

  • Nope. Leave the past in the past.

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  • Uhhh yeah saying '' Not quite sure how I stumbled onto your profile on here seeing as I rarely use this (bad) luck? a cruel twist of fate? anyway its been a while and I just wanted to say hi and see how things are going'' Sounds like it will only provoke hostility torwards you, you sound like an ass saying that, just sayin, don't say that...

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    • How should I open then? One of the things that happened post-breakup was I tried to get her back and she felt I was suffocating her (she lived two hours away and I called and texted her a lot cause I couldn't see her) and she called me a stalker. I broke contact with her but I don't want to reignite that sentiment seeing as she might not believe I randomly found her on this site like I did. I don't know if she was serious about the stalker thing. its ridiculous to me, but idk...

    • Ide leave it alone, and saying ''I found you by accidint.'' is just gonna make her roll her eyes in disbelief. She sounds mean to me.

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