Did my husband sleep with the cute woman at the gym while I was pregnant

We didn't sleep together during the pregnancy and I was working two jobs most of the time. Since I had no knowledge of my husband ever being unfaithful, I trusted him. We also didn't sleep together for months after the birth which was unusual. The woman, I found out, was fit, attractive , married and worked at his gym. I was shocked to find her name in his phone with a special ringtone and some of their texts in his phone after I had the baby. I had been a little suspicious of how excited he was when she mailed him a Christmas pic of her daughter addressed only to him.My husband had never mentioned her before the card, but they both had texted about some expensive gifts he had given her before she left for a new job. He called her "cutie" and "my wings" in the texts. He was also making a big deal in the texts of saying I know we are going to be really good friends. I found out he secretly gave her the gifts in his sportscar along with a letter. He swears nothing was ever physical and that she was only a friend, but he ignored me for months, even on my birthday, and I didn't know why. She is out of the picture now as she wouldn't respond to his last texts. But he had texted her after the gifts and told her he cared about her and hoped nothing ever happened to her. I have heard that she drove his car (which he denies) and his cousin at one point asked if he was still seeing her. My husband and I are both getting along now and we have a great sex life now that I have lost the pregnancy weight, but after I discovered that he had been looking at her Facebook page obsessively even though they are not fb friends, I find it so hard to believe that nothing happened between them. He lied about everything and only talked if I had proof...i only accidentally found out what I know. He has said sorry, but is it believable nothing happened? What is a married man really meaning when he tells another woman he cares about her, calls her cutie and basically my angel, and says she made him happy and he did not want to lose her as a friend?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • "We also didn't sleep together for months after the birth which was unusual."

    Actually, that's very common. Despite doctors reassuring the husband that all is okay down there, a lot of guys can't bring themselves to do it for some time. Especially if they saw the birth, or saw the taint being snipped or something gross like that.

    I think you're wrong. Nothing happened. But I think he *wanted* something to happen.

    If he had banged her, he wouldn't be obsessively stalking her Facebook page. He'd be glad she was out of the picture, and he'd be getting rid of any evidence he ever knew her.

    He's acting like he still has a crush on her or something. He wouldn't be acting like that if he had actually had sex with her.

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    • Very good point. Only reason I said unusual was because it was our fifth child ; ), and a first for this kind of distance between us. I still don't know what to believe, but appreciate all feedback given very much.

What Guys Said 4

  • Wow I'm really sorry to say that yes he did.

    I mean the truth is there, the pieces all broken up apart, but it doesn't take a dummy to put them together.

    "If a tree falls down in a forest and nobody is there to see it, does it make a sound?"

    Affairs is 90% emotional than physical. It happens because the man/woman finds that they are missing something in his/her marriage, and finds that missing piece on another man/woman; and that is how affairs start.

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  • It seems like she's just a close friend of his.

    You're married now, and the most important trait you can possess is trust.

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  • they might be just good friends , and share stuff in there life , she might have had a bad spot in her life and used him as an ear , men can be friends with women with out sex , I had for 3 years a woman friend in this way , she was married to a wife beater and I was the only person that she could talk to , I put her all most first in my life until I got her to go to wife beaters help

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  • This sounds like a one off affair mutually agreed by the both of them. I am sure its finished now, but it sounds more like a sexual fling than a friendship. He wants to stay friends in case of any possibility of repeats. Betrayal like this should never be forgiven, but as you have, I can only hope it works out for you, good luck,x

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What Girls Said 1

  • Why didn't you sleep together during & after the pregnancy ? His choice or yours ?

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    • He didn't initiate during the pregnancy, and I could tell he was not attracted to my pregnant body. After the pregnancy I started to get hurt after several months has gone by and he sill did not seem interested. When I confronted him, he said sex wasn't everything. Finally he gave in after I kept bringing it up, and it was terrible because he was not emotionally there. It was months later before we finally reconnected in the bedroom, after I had been out of town a week.

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