My town has no gay club scene at all... Does anyone have suggestions on how to meet gay men?

I'm bisexual; however, I prefer men. I'm sorry to report that my hometown and the surrounding cities have little to no gay club scene at all. I've tried the online dating, and I'm frankly horrible at it. Unless I develop the funds to move to a major city I might as well be straight. Does anyone have any suggestions on how to me gay men? Besides online dating, and clubs.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • where do you live?

    I think your best bet is to move. You can do more research, rake through your area with a fine tooth comb to see if there isn't some small gay scene you aren't aware of. Google it, look through all the search results pages, check your local newspaper and see if there is any mention there, if you see no direct links, use search bar.

    Look up things like day of silence, pride parade, lgbt pride festival, etc. events in your area or surrounding areas and read any articles that come up. usually organizations or student groups help organize those events and they are groups that are at least gay friendly, and most likely have some kind of gay community base.

    also search the lgbt center in your area or areas around there. This is more the volunteer/gay community base/ activism but they will most likely have programs or events you can get involved in, where you will meet other gay/bi men and I'm sure some of them know where the gay friendly night life happenings are. or you may just meet someone you like there and have a relationship or friends with benefits deal. you never know, but don't go into that environment (lgbt center) strictly on the prowl. lol

    are you a student? your age bracket is the typical college age. look at all the major universities and colleges in your area and look through their clubs pages. see if they have any gay friendly events or clubs. sometimes clubs host events open to the public. you can email the clubs too. they may or may not respond. again, this is networking and getting to know more people, and some people will know where the gay night life action is.

    Are you in college? check your schools clubs and events, obviously.

    What makes you horrible at online dating?

    A friend of mine uses craigslist sometimes but I don't think that's the safest option. however, there are plenty of men on there looking to hook up. if you do that, have a trusted friend or family member know where you are, possibly be in close proximity when you meet them, give them addresses and meet up info, etc.

    check out websites like yelp.com and search things in your area. I love yelp, I find a lot of stuff on there, but I do live in a liberal city. if you have gps on your phone, maybe a little search will produce some options.

    look online for a regional forum and ask about gay night life. city-data.com/forum may help.

    I think you should definitely set out to move. but you have to weigh the options yourself. is it worth it to be there and not be free to embrace that part of yourself or do you want to move to a different city and have different experiences, and an open community available. but I think you should do more research in the mean time to see what else is open to you.

    online dating may be a good option though. or you could even meet a friend online to have someone to go out with, possibly to gay events/gay clubs or bars if you find any relatively close by.

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    • check meetup.com as well. they have meetup groups sometimes for singles of all kinds, including lgbt singles. if you don't meet anyone, you can at least make gay friends.

    • good luck hun :)

What Girls Said 6

  • I would say if you go to school if your school has a gay straight alliance group you can join there or any lgbt organizations in your town if there is one .

    I'm trying these as well to meet women in my town .

    Good luck in finding that special some one .

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  • I grew up in literally THE most mormon small town in my state. It was extremely hard to meet anyone, especially anyone slightly normal. I usually did see some good people through friends, activities/sports, etc.

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  • If you've exhausted all of your other options, online dating might be your best bet. There could be someone out there who's in the same position!

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  • I think you should join some groups to meet gay men.

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  • online dating and clubs

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  • Good for your town !

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    • LOL why bother hating on him when you can't even own up to your comment. So pathetic.

    • Pathetic , That doesn't make any sense . Everyone don't stay on this site 24 /7 . I thought everyone was entitled to their on opinion . Well trick I just made mine , Like I said before and I didn't stutter MissShaniaLyn . Good for his Town ! No one is hating , Why in the world would I hate on that . That's nothing to be proud of , The devil got all of you'll mines twisted .

What Guys Said 1

  • Personally, I don't think it's in your best interests half as much as you think it is.

    If you're willing to settle for looking for an understanding and supportive friend instead, I'm sure the regular bars will suffice.

    Just make sure you're honest about your kinks, and find friends who are comfortable with them. That shouldn't be too hard.

    And if bars fail you, try the library. Attracts a very different kind of audience, but that could be a good thing. Bars are aggressive places.

    See if you can make something positive of your disposition. Who told you that you had to be looking for gay men anyway? Brush it off. And if you're frustrated that you're single, don't feel too bad. It happens a lot.

    I seem to dig Asian girls a lot, but have a hard time finding a place in my area to meet any that would be even the tiniest amount interested in me. So I make the most of my solitude.

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