After 3 months of dating, introduced as "my friend" to another girl?

Things have been going really well between me and this guy I have been dating for 3 months. We had a fabulous date the other night, but when we were leaving the venue, he ran into a girl he knows from his childhood. He was hugging her for a solid 3 minutes and chatting with her. When he finally did introduce me, he patted me on the back and said this is "my friend...". Also, he has mentioned to me in the past that he was in love with this girl.

I have no issue with the fact he obviously has some feelings still (we all have a past). One thing I am insecure about is that he seems to be attracted to heavier women and I'm quite toned. This girl is heavier. Mostly, I'm really hurt he feels the need to let her know he's still available. Although we have never had 'the conversation' I (stupidly) assumed we were more than friends.

I tried to talk to him about how being ignored hurt me, but he reacted defensively and it turned into a fight. I don't know if I should just move on considering it hasn't been too long and this was a slimy move. Or should I give it a chance and continue to see him? I have some serious feelings for him, but (to be honest with myself) I do tend to get close to people easily. Perhaps he isn't as sensitive as I thought he was (as this move suggests).

Note as to where our 'relationship' is at, he called Saturday night to see if we had "implied" plans. I wouldn't have "implied" plans with a friend...

Thoughts? Please :)


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I don't think he was trying to tell her that he was still available. I think you two were obviously on two different stages in the relationship: You thought you guys were closer than you thought you were, and he thought the relationship was more casual than you thought it was. If you seriously have a problem with this, then you need to have the talk where the both of you come to an agreement as to where the both of you are in the relationship.

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What Guys Said 3

  • You should just move on.

    It seems that he's not really that serious and committed in pursuing you, and he's keeping his options open.

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  • To be honest here, it could mean a few different things.

    If I was him, I wouldn't introduce you as anything other than a friend until we had discussed it and you had agreed to it. Having said that, you feel that things have progressed past that so it sounds like you need to have a chat about your status.

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  • You guys need to talk with each other, express how you feel more and if he doesn't want to listen then he doesn't deserve your time.

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What Girls Said 2

  • If I were you, I'd make him suffer like hell. I'd tantalize him sexually and then blueball him telling him that since you too are just friends you don't want to have sex with him. Then I would simply ignore him and find other dudes to date and have fun with.

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  • Well, to be fair, you two haven't had the talk yet. I think this might be a good time to bring that up. I know it's scary, and you don't want to scare him away by bringing it up. But honestly, if you want this guy, and you want a relationship, you need to make that clear to him.

    Get it out now, rather than dance around the issue and get hurt down the road because he starts seeing someone else.

    Next time you are together, talk to him about what you want and what he thinks of you two so far. If he feels the same way, great!

    If not, well then at least you know now and don't have to waste any more of your time. Don't stay with him because you hope he will change his mind about you. It's been 3 months, enough time to know if he wants to make things official or not. Plus, if you settle for being just friends and wait and see if he actually likes you, it will no doubt hurt you and make you frustrated.

    If he is seeing you, that's a good sign, and if he is checking to see if you two have implied plans. But definitely bring up this topic and discuss it. Get those communication lines open. The worst thing is dating someone for a long time and then finding out that they had different plans. I know, because this happened to me. So don't be me, and speak up! :)

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