Was I dating a creep, or were these just isolated social faux pas?

A few years ago I dated this guy for just over 9 months and during that time 2 incidents occurred that have made me feel unsettled ever since.

1) We were cuddling on his couch one afternoon (stomach to stomach with me on top) with his left arm around me ( inside of couch, parallel to back of couch) and with his right hand he was fiddling about with the carpet. After some time, I lifted me head to respond to something he said and realized that instead of looking at me he was looking past my shoulder while talking. I turned to see what he was looking at and he had a mirror that WAS NOT visibly present when we first sat down and he was using it to look at my reflection laying on his chest while we conversed. He never answered when I asked why he did that or where the mirror came from. My guess is it was under the couch.

2) A few months after the 1st incident we had an argument. We both belonged to the same social org. & when I got to their monthly meeting he was already there. Instead of being mature ( he was 22 at the time) & coming over to find out if I was still upset, he left the building, went to a payphone around the corner and called the office to ask the secretary to put me on the line.

Needless to say, we broke up shortly after the 2nd incident, but should I have been more worried about his behavior , or were they just the result of really poor judgement on his part?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • So wait, he set up a mirror in the room without you noticing (even though you were in the same room at the time) because he somehow** knew you'd end up laying in a position where you couldn't see the mirror and that the mirror would help him creepily look at you (even though he could already see you plenty since you were laying on top of him).

    Do I understand that properly?

    **Maybe he could see the future?

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    • At some point I got up to use the bathroom, so my theory ( even though I can't be certain this is what happened) is that while I was in the bathroom he put the mirror ( it was a hand mirror approx. 8x6" with a handle) under the couch, so when we continued to cuddle after I got back, he started fiddling with the carpet so I wouldn't notice when he retrieved it. If the incident had played out the way you interpreted it I would have immediately ended the relationship.

    • Why would he look at you with a mirror when he could already see you?

      If anything, I'd say he was just playing with the mirror and was not creepin' on you.

What Guys Said 2

  • Ehh...creep might be a bit of a harsh term, but this dude sounds like he has more issues than the average bear. And to not be able to communicate about it is probably a bigger problem than the weirdness itself.

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  • He sounds a bit odd.

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