Is dating necessary to be able to build a relationship?

Who came up with that sh*t lol? I was just wondering! because if affairs can happen when you least expect it, then we really don't need to play the "dating" rules to build a relationship, right?

I think everyone has gone through the phase of getting frustrated at the dating information that is thrown at us, because there are so many and each one contradicts one another.

So I have come to the point of no return, I want her to be mine..but I don't want to take her out on a date. So what are some other ways I can tackle this, that will enable me to build a relationship? Invite her over?

Please don't say go read Romeo & Juliet, Tristran & Isolde, Troy and Helen...ect..


1|0
7|5

Most Helpful Girl

  • In the four serious relationships I've been in, three of them had no typical "dating" phase. We hung out as friends a lot for a long time, said, "I like you, wanna be my boyfriend/girlfriend?," said yes, and then resumed hanging out except with the extra bonus of relationship-y stuff.

    I love doing it that way, "dating" just feels much less natural to me.

    3|1
    0|0
    • actually this is the right way to do it. and I do not say it, an specialist told me that

What Girls Said 6

  • By refusing to "date" her you're running the risk of of her thinking you're not serious. That being said, there are other ways to get to know someone without "dating," like hanging out, doing activities together, etc.

    The whole point of dating is to see if you're compatible. If you can make that determination using some other method, then great. Dates don't have to be formal ("going out" etc); they can be casual (hanging out, watching a movie, etc). Just don't let the "dating" term scare/discourage you. Do what feels natural.

    2|0
    0|0
  • no. you don't even date. I think it gets in the way because people adhere to rules if operation instead of focusing on the person. plus they read about rules in order to understand each other. instead if just asking questions.

    imo fatin is a lame replacement to getting t know someone.

    0|0
    0|0
  • You don't necessarily have to arrange dates, you can just hang out. No one enters a relationship without having spent time together, so find some way to do it. If you're going to a party, ask her to go with you or something. That's not a date, but you are spending time together and that's important to consider it a relationship.

    1|0
    0|0
  • No. Dating is just going out to dinner for some kind of change of scenery. My boyfriend and I have only been on one date, which was recently, we've been in a relationship for a while now.

    1|0
    0|0
  • No but spending time together is.

    1|0
    0|0
  • Because most people don't go from straight f***ing to being in a relationship. If you think taking her out on dates is too much effort, you certainly won't be able to handle a relationship.

    What do you truly want from her? What does a relationship mean to you?

    You sound like you just want a regular sex partner, that's the impression you give off so why should she take you seriously when you claim you want a relationship? you honestly sound like a game player and waste of time

    1|0
    0|0

What Guys Said 5

  • It's good that you are questioning the norm. No dating is most certainly not necessary to get "the girl you want" despite what others may think.

    First of all you need to determine what you want. Do you want to cuddle? Kiss? Watch movies at your house this Saturday? Invite her to the Library? What do you want? My guess is since you want an alternative you still want "stages of a relationship" (maybe you think sex on the first date is pushing it?) so let's aim for a first kiss. You need to establish to her you're interested in her but without being needy. Kind of like saying you want a new item but aren't in a hurry to get it. This is not playing a game this is simply giving her time to connect with you. The main way to do this is to talk to her when she isn't busy. Catch a subject that you can talk about (preferably something she can teach you) then tease and flirt halfway into the convo. If you're hitting all the right notes you should have a "sexual tension moment" this is where you both can tell you wouldn't mind to kiss one another but you don't feel at all pressured to. At this point you have conqured the task at hand which was to obtain a first kiss.

    So in a little more context:

    You speak to this girl you alreadyvknow say... On the bus? She is going quite a distance so you speak to her. You get on a subject about what she does at work. You talk about her job and ask about it. You time it just right and say something like "I guess people get distracted when they look at you". In which case you include yourself in the picture, something like "I know I won't get any work done with your company". If the flirting get heated (on the bus) you may not want to kiss there so you may want to take this off the bus. At this point staying in regular contact should maintantain the "in relationship" status.

    The art is to all of this, is to know what you want. Fine you may not want to date but you need to aim for certain traits you want you and your potential partner to have "covered" for your "relationship".

    1|0
    0|0
    • Oh man I hope no one ever says that to me, I'd just sit there feeling awkward and hoping my stop was next.

    • Kinda defeats what I said about timing it "just right" don't you think? And it'll be silly to talk about something you yourself aren't too eager to speak about. I mean the point is if you are really positive and eager to be informative to someone aboutc any of your interests, you're more than likely to be very receptive flirting about it too. You'd be surprised and besides if you liked the guy would you really think that? I'd appreciate an answer to that one thanks.

  • If you look within the question, part of your answer is within your description. Affairs happen. You are exactly right. Affair do happen, though the circumstances behind them vary, they're still just that...affairs.

    Relationships are built, through mutual chemistry, time spent with one another and developing deeply rooted feelings for one another. I think everyone shares your frustration regarding dating at some point or another, but they all realize the time spent with one another is essential in discovering that person you may choose to enter into a relationship with. Unless you're considering an arranged marriage agreement, it's probably best that you settle into the reality that dating, to some extent, has to occur.

    Of course, like what was previously stated, you don't have to get all dressed up and go out to a restaurant to get to know someone. Perhaps you can consider someone who you casually hang out with on a regular basis. If she hangs out with the same circle of friends you do, it's quite possible to build a relationship through time spent with her, provided you develop or have feelings for her. Even then there may come a time when you both will want to hang out at a restaurant or a quiet evening on the town or out of town. You don't have to officially call it a date, let it just an activity that you both love and want to do. It can be planned or spontaneous (however planning it will make it seem more like a date, unless the whole circle is participating in the outing)

    The key is you will still need to find ways to spend time with her and you both have to grow emotionally toward one another, but there are possibilities beyond conventional dating.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Think of dating like a job interview. Wanting a girl but not wanting to take her on a date seems cheesy and cheap.

    2|0
    0|0
  • Arranged marriages?

    1|0
    0|0
  • Yes, dating is really important. It makes you get closer to the other person and get to know each other better.

    Simply go to dates.

    0|0
    0|0
Loading...