Would you date someone who makes you the exception?

This isn't dating, but I did have had 2 guy friends who were ahem, prejudice and they told me "I don't like Mexicans but since you're only half you don't count." Keyword: "had"--no longer my friends, obviously

Then I had another one who said "I don't like (insert ''n'' word) or (insert slur for Hispanics) but you don't act like a (insert "n" word) or "insert slur for Hispanics) so you're ok"

But aside from that, I'd never date a guy who says "I don't like black girls but you're the exception" or "I don't like Hispanic girls but you're the exception." In fact, I don't think I'd date a guy who blatantly tells me he dislikes a whole group of women.

This exception thing could apply to anything--weight, height, socioeconomic status or maybe even personality type(introvert/extrovert)

Updates:
How about 1) Actually reading my question. Common sense would tell you I'm biracial and that there are slurs for Hispanics as well as blacks

2) Not answering my question when you have me blocked?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I have had that happen to me before too, not from women, but from male peers who seem to have a dislike for a certain race. I think people who make these exceptions try to justify their relationship with you, be it a friend or romantic interest while maintaining their standing opinion of others in general. There has even been a situation where many will say I don't want a "n" dating my daughter or sister, but when asked what if the guy was Michael Jordan, many of them made an exception.

    People will be people and their views can be based on stereotypes, or bad experiences with someone of a particular race which can cause them to formulate such negative views. It's a heavy burden for any man or woman to bear, carrying the misdeed of someone else just because these people identify them as being a part of that race.

    Character is key and I am inclined to believe that many do look at character before passing judgment on whether or not a person is good or bad, but there will always be that small handful who aren't clear thinkers and their opinions will formulate based on their limited capacity to see the overall picture.

    Personally, if I am an exception, I may be more inclined to not date that particular woman because though her opinion of me today makes me an exception, but as soon as a misinterpretation, misunderstanding or disagreement tomorrow may very easily cause her to classify me in with the rest. It's just one headache I would choose to avoid.

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What Guys Said 11

  • No, that would make me feel really uncomfortable that for one or 2 reasons I was "acceptable" whereas another who didn't have those one or 2 reasons. I would feel really awkward to even know them, and after they had told me how I was an exception I don't think I could ever talk to them. *shudders* that's just really weird.

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  • I've decided I don't like white people. This makes things awkward at family reunions, but it is what it is.

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  • I don't know. I would wonder why I would be an exception to that rule and it could hint that she has somekind of core problem with that fact and of course she might just be keeping that problem in check with me, but I'd start to wonder how long it could last. So I'd probably not date her. But just so we are clear, is "I don't usually feel attracted to (insert race here), but you are an exception." the same as "I don't usually like (insert race here), but you are an exception." in this context?

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    • In my opinion, yes. I think somewhere down the line it would end up being thrown in a persons face...

    • Show All
    • But that's just it. Let's say guy A found big breasts attractive(stereotypes I know) and as such he would have a preferance towards women with big breasts. And let's say that Race A women would usually have big breasts and Race B women would usually have small breasts. As such it is a fact that guy A would not on average find Race B women attractive, because they don't have that characteristic he is looking for.

    • Uh, OK. That's great. You do you, I'll do me. You can have your preferences, I don't care

  • nah, if a girl had said that to me it would sound like; I'll have to do until she finds something better along the line. I wouldn't want to spend my time and energy in such a person, because I know I can do better.

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  • Absolutely not.. I find the very concept to be ridiculous. I've never understood how people can hold these ideas in their heads.

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  • people are so moronic it hurts

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  • There's a specific slur for Hispanics equal with the and word? Have I missed something?

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  • As long as she doesn't like [insert anything here] in the sense or not usually being attracted, not in the sense or prejudice (such as racism), then yes, I'd date her.

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  • Absolutely not. That's not even cool.

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  • Possibly... but it would largely depend on the reasons and why they wouldn't. I'm actually in a similar position to that now. I never thought I would date an Asian girl (I was just never attracted to them) as I was more or less only attracted to black girls but for the moment, there is this one at the moment who has an awesome personality that I might end up getting with. I wouldn't consider it making them the exception, I just need to be open to anyone in the future considering anyone can become attractive

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  • Some people like feeling special and unique, but I couldn't do that in this situation. it is almost like those people who say "not to be x, y, or z" but then continue to say something very derogatory about x, why or z. I can't stand for that especially when it comes to sterotypes too. Stereotyping is just a no no for me

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    • Oh, those people who put a disclaimer before saying something offensive. "I'm not racist, in fact my best friend is black...but why are black people xyz?"

      I love those people

    • I put why instead of why link

    • hahahha instead of Y. Y Y Y Y

What Girls Said 1

  • No, I would never date a prejudiced person, that's below me.

    And if I was the exception, I would be slightly more offended if possible.

    People who date exceptions have issues that need to be resolved.

    -they don't like something

    -but are still attracted to a person who is what they don't like

    It really makes no sense, and the person should be able to see how wrong their bias is, not see the person they are attracted to as some golden exception.

    They should look within and evaluate their issues.

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