He is always late. Sometimes for 30m, sometimes for over 4hrs. Sometimes he doesn't even show up.
I could understand SOME of the lateness and the stand ups, as his work is very stressful.
However, he never calls, doesn't text, doesn't answer his phone.
I try not to get mad, but I usually end up leaving him a Facebook message, ranging from "well, I hope you're ok" to "can't believe you stood me up!". He eventually answers and gives a valid excuse (fell asleep or something), apologizes and asks me to meet him.
So I usually end up being a little upset when I go meet him but then I forget it.
Sometimes I do try to discuss what happened with him, he says that he had no way to contact me or that he is so stress with work, and sometimes even gets mad when I get upset, saying that he hates seeing me sad!
What can I do to make him realize that his behavior hurts me and, more importantly, stick with it?
Most Helpful Guy
It's not a question of how, but rather, why not? Maybe you're too scared of his reaction, scared he might leave you, too reliant on him to offer you some form of psychological comfort?
It sounds like there's a bit of an internal conflict, because there's a variance between your behavior towards him, and what should be your behavior towards him. You know what the right action is here, but presumably, it all goes back to point 1?
Anyway, his behavior is disrespectful. He doesn't value your time, he doesn't take your feelings into consideration, everything is on his terms. Presumably too, he hates seeing you mad solely because it interferes with his 'pleasant time', ie only in terms of him :)
So you know the solution is to tell him straight. Tell him that this is not acceptable, to treat you as an after-thought. But what is the upshot of that? It's leaving him if he continues to treat you badly. And are you able to?
Incidentally, his excuses are rubbish. If he doesn't have time to see you because of his other commitments, then perhaps he shouldn't be in a relationship at this moment. You make time for that which is important. And if you don't have enough time, you evaluate what is most important in life. Moreover, one doesn't have to be tied to one's phone to drop a text explaining you can't make something. It's a logical necessity and basic courtesy; if you make plans and there's some chance of them changing shape, to take your phone.0