Parents against me liking someone because of race?

I met this guy at school about 5 months ago and we get along great. We have differences in politics but similar interests, similar morals/values, and both have ideas about what we want to do with out lives. Plus he is super sweet and caring towards me, even when flirting. However, he does some insecurities/ wanting to fit in issues that leads him to say some really stupid stuff so some people think he is annoying and he is white (actually one of few white people in our group at school which is mostly black). I think part of him trying to fit in is that he is black and feels unaccepted because he is white. Although I haven't told him like him, I talked to my mom about it because I thought she could give me some guidance. She told me to leave him alone because he doesn't know what he wants and wouldn't be respectful of my ethnicity (black) because of what he has said about our differences in political beliefs. Now I have a friend I have reconnected with and she is pushing me to date him even though I don't really know him (he is black). She says it's not a racial thing but yet I get pushed to date the black guys and they get more chances in spite of whatever than non-blacks :(


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I've dated outside my race and even married a black girl when I was younger, so here's my perspective:

    Dating outside your race is difficult but expands your family's point of view.

    Many of my close relatives who told black jokes don't tell them anymore, even when I'm not around, I'm told. One has even started telling off racists when they make slurs in front of them.

    The bigger a**holes in the family understand I am pointless to share hate with. My blood pressure is lower when I'm around them because they shut up. I can still kick their asses, even though I'm a peaceful ex warrior. They flex and act tough and all that bullsh*t when my back is turned and I'm out of earshot now.

    I was reading Ayn Rand when I met her. I was always a farm country Democrat, but we were basically Republicans who believed in subsidies.

    After spending time with her and my new extended black family, I had my eyes opened. Now I've manned the phones for Obama, volunteered at soup kitchens and battered women's shelters, and had more fun with my black family than I ever thought I would.

    For a sheltered rural white boy, I don't think there would have been much hope for me if I hadn't fallen in love with a beautiful black woman at just the right time. I'd be as closed minded as most, if it hadn't happened.

    I think your white crush would have his eyes opened too, if you were willing to play the role of the Strong Black Woman and educate him. There are plenty of sites out there that debunk political beliefs. Check them out.

    In addition, don't sweat it with your family and friends. Even if they call him White Devil to his back, when he's around he's going to feel welcomed. Black people are more accepting of whites in the home than you might expect.

    Listen to the white guy telling you about black people. Hehe.

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What Guys Said 11

  • Baby follow your heart, if you love/like the white boy as a friend or boyfriend. Then continue being with him. I remember when I was in a senior in high school (I just turned 18), and this new girl Crystal (white girl sophomore) walked in to my gym class. And all the black girls was picking on her, the Holy Sprit moved on inside of me. I walked over there when the talking was happening and told everyone "Yaw Leave this beautiful girl alone, just because she doesn't wear weave and dollar store plastic nails like you doesn't mean she's any different!". I walked out of the huddle and grabbed her hand and we walked out together. The next day we became the most POPULAR couple in the whole school :) as of we still close friends!

    Go to him and let him know this is going on and let God protect you both. I believe God sent him so you two can show that damn school what REAL LOVE really is :) I know me and Crystal did and every since then our school ain't never been the same. White girls/Black boys and Black girls/White boys is dating in that school still today, its normal here :)

    I'm still date white woman today, I'm praying that I marry one of them and have a happy family a way God attend it to be :)

    -God Bless to you :)

    "If you need someone to talk too, add me on Facebook.com/henjay"

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  • What does skin color have to do with love and romance? Be color blind. Look at the soul behind the eyes and not the packaging.

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  • if your mother wishes to keep your family's bloodline free of other races you should accept tht and not defy her as long as you live in her house its her rules

    when you live on your own you can go nuts and date any race you want

    but as of now you should respect your mother's wishes

    sry:im sure you guys can still be friends tho :D

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  • When the lights go out we're all black. And we're all pink on the inside.

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  • Sounds like your parents are against you dating outside your race. Also, it's easier to date within a race. I wouldn't listen to them. It also depends on where you live at as well. In some areas, maybe it's easier to date people of other races. But in the end we are all human. So it really shouldn't matter and if you are a adult, it's your choice in the end as well.

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  • Tell your parents it's 2013, not 1953. There is only one race, the human race. The sooner everyone can accept this, the better.

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  • as long as he's respectful. date who you want. but be prepared interracial relationships are not the norm and you may find people don't like it (unfortunately) even if it doesn't affect them. best of luck to you.

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  • Race should not be an issue, Discriminating against someone due to race can fall under hate crimes if person takes it wrong way.

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  • yeah I agree with your parents to be honest

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  • Your parents might be right. But I'd go for it if I were you. It is more likely to fail so expect to get hurt. You'll never know how far you can go until you cross the line.

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  • Your parents are right. People should stick to their own kind.

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What Girls Said 1

  • If your questioning not dating because of your differences I can see that, but agreeing with everything that your SO believes takes all the fun out of a relationship. You both need to understand that you have your differences and there is 3 in a relationship, each respective person and the two of you together. I am completely in support of intercultural dating, its good to get exposed to different cultures. I have dated several Hispanic guys and liked a few black guys (never dated, kinda sad about that). My family is open to 'inter-racial' dating, my uncle is culturally(since their is no such thing as separate races in humans, races are synonymous to subspecies) persian (he left before Iraq and Iran came about) my aunt is white, and their 3 kids are mixed race, they also have the best committed relationship (married) in my family.

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