Will he change his mind?

I met this guy at work about 2 months ago. I eventually realized that I liked him and asked him out (took a lot of guts). He was surprised but really happy. We had an amazing first date. The next day I saw him at work and he suggest plans for that day and the next day. I couldn't go to the same day date, but I went out with him the next day. It was again a perfect date. We made out and cuddled. I know it sounds a bit crazy, but from that moment we started acting more couple-y than date-y. We had a connection. I asked him if he was dating anyone else. He said no and that he would not date anyone else. On Monday, he surprised me while I was volunteering and helped me to finish some work. He then mentioned that as I already knew it was likely he would be moving in the next 3 months or so but that he had an opportunity to stay and would try to stay to make us work. I left with him and had another great date. We then talked all that week. We had plans for the weekend. During the weekend, he wanted to talk. Something had upset him at work and he was now leaning toward leaving. He told me that he was afraid of dating me because we had a connection and he didn't want to get hurt badly when he had to leave. He didn't want to do long distance either. I wanted to keep dating and decide what to do at the end of the 3 months. He could technically still stay if he wanted to. I'm confused. I'm getting mixed signals (from I'll stay to make it work to I have to leave because this place is horrible). He seems to be somewhat impulsive and emotional. Do you guys think he would change his mind? I really like him. I want him back. All I want is the chance to date him to see if things could work. If they do, we could figure out how to make long distance work or he could also stay.

Forgot to add. We stopped dating because it was too much for him. He was afraid of getting hurt. But I still see him at work. It sucks! I just want to date him again and see where it goes.


Most Helpful Guy

  • I think he's on the fence. He's probably been thinking about leaving for a long time...then he met you...and then work has him all upset at the same time. He knows that if he falls in love with you, he likely won't be leaving for a while. He's trying to protect his feelings, and yours by trying to NOT get your hopes up that he'll stay. Hopefully he'll wait 3 more months to decide. That should bring you to 5 mos of dating. The bottomline is...if after 5 months and he stays, its most likely that he's in love with you, or at least falling for ya . Likewise, if he goes, he didn't fall in love, and it most likely wasn't going to happen anyway. Us guys fall fast...even though we don't want to admit it. I say either way you win. Don't worry about what MIGHT happen. Instead, enjoy each others company in the here and now. Good luck!

    • @ update. Tell him...face to face that you're willing to get hurt in the end, if it meant you could be with him for just 3 more months. If he doesn't agree to start dating after you've looked him in the eye, and said that...then he's already gone! Go after what you want!


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What Guys Said 1

  • Long distance never ever works at least in my experience but he doesn't want to have to say good bye and break up with you just before he leaves, 3 months will go by fast


What Girls Said 1

  • He's probably more confused than you are because it is all in his hands in reality. I think if you really like him and could see a functional future together, then try and give him plenty of reasons to never want to leave. Help him out with the things that are bothering him. If it is his job, just encourage him to try and get something better. Be his rock and something he can depend. At the same time, if you really like someone sometimes you have to see if leaving is something that could be best for them and take their happiness and success into consideration.. Like I said though, I would personally just try and give him lots of reasons to stay. :)