Was I Right to be Hurt? Or Was I Overreacting?

My boy and I broke up six months ago officially, and kept seeing each other for about a month until I told him I wanted to move on and he couldn't kiss me anymore. He insisted on still going on a special Christmas date that we had been planning on for months, and I reluctantly agreed.

Weeks later, we went on the date, and he told me that he had not had time for any romantic relationships because of school, and I was honest and told him that I had been going out with a lot of people. He told me a week later that a friend had kissed him because she "felt like she needed to," but that it didn't mean anything. I was hurt for a while and angry that he had moved on and lied, and we got in a really bad fight, but I eventually sought him out to fix our friendship and talk about things.

He was understanding and insisted on working on our friendship and building up trust between us. We almost fell back into our old relationship, and kissed and cuddled like we used to, but were unsure about if we wanted to date again. I began to fall for him again, and he kept telling me that he cared more for me than any other girl he had been with, and that he liked me more than anyone he had ever dated or met.

Finally, one night he told me that the girl he kissed was someone that he had begun liking and seeing before he had actually said goodbye to me, and that they had made out until he decided she didn't have enough restraint physically. Conveniently, then she left to go away to school. I was disgusted that he had let me kiss him and trust him, and was asking for forgiveness and crying in front of him, while he was keeping this from me, so that it wouldn't "hurt my feelings," and that he had continued to act like he cared about me and liked me while he was getting some from someone else. He is the only boy I have ever kissed, and he knows that that kind of stuff is special to me. If I had known he had moved on so quickly, I would never have gone back. He then told me he is not interested in dating anyone because he is trying to make some changes in his life, but he wants to see me regularly as friends, and work on our "friendship," agreeing not to expect future dating. I told him that I would just get hurt, and that I didn't believe that he cared about me and liked me so much, because if that were true, he would want to be with me, and not put fluff on the truth when I wanted a straight answer. He punched the steering wheel and just kept saying that he does like me. I told him I needed time to absorb all of this, and that I don't want him to be close to me for a time. I also told him that I need to hang out with guys who will honor my standards...standards I had broken in an attempt to be what he wanted. Then I removed him from my Facebook, and ignored all of his texts, because my parents think he is an unhealthy influence in my life. Was he being sincere about liking me, or was he just trying to cover his butt? And was I overreacting for being upset?


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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 2

  • Yeah that was wrong of him. It sounds like he was confused. It sounds like he was unsure whether he wanted to continue with you or if he wanted to start something new with her. He should have been honest, and you've done exactly what you need to do by removing him from Facebook and just moving on. Don't let him have power over you and make it obvious that he was in the wrong by never looking back.

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  • You were defiantly not over reacting, he is just saying that he likes you to get the physical stuff from you. I knew a guy that did the same thing to me and I finally stopped talking to him and I am doing 100 times better.

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    • Yeah..it's been better since I've been ignoring him. I know I was totally naive, but does that make what he did okay? I'm just worried about being too harsh.

    • it does not make what he did okay, you weren't too harsh.

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