So me and this guy been dating for 8 months or so. Known each other for 10 months total. He says I'm hard to read. I guess I must have this awesome poker face or something. I'm not very good at initiating affection or sex, mostly Because social anxiety makes me "freeze up" (which he is aware of the anxiety). I used to exclusively date women (hes my 1st bf) so he told me one day just treat him like I'd treat my girl. but that feels very awkward to me. like, you can grab a chicks butt, not a dudes. I don't know how to act I guess and it makes me freeze up. what can I do to make my emotional state more obvious to read? should I just try to loosen up and shower him with my affections like I do my girls?
Most Helpful Guy
#1 - occasional butt-grabbing done by the girl is perfectly normal and sexy.
#2 - loosening up is good, careful with the showering of affection - you want to amp up the volume slowly so that you don't scare him away with a sudden flood of I LOVE YOUUUUUUU
#3 - girls often expect guys to read their minds because they send out signals in body language all the time. Most guys don't pick up on this, and if they do, it's subconscious. The first, most subtle way you can get easier to read is to increase the number of messages you send, and exaggerate all of them. Make a habit of giving strong eye contact (with a bit of fluttery eyes for when you want his attention) , crossing/uncrossing your legs when you're hot and bothered, flicking your hair back, exposing your neck, applying extra gloss & licking your lips when you want a kiss, leaning forward to whisper in his ear...
...which brings me to the second way of being easier to read - actually saying what's on your mind. It doesn't come naturally, even to me, so it's a constant effort to really open up and be honest. It's easier to start by dropping hints about your emotional state. Feeling touchy-feely? Feign an itch on your back. Instant massage lead-in! Want him to take hold of your hand while walking? Walk close to his side so that your hands keep bumping: he's an idiot if he doesn't take the hint. Now, for the more detailed things... you're gonna want to tell him straight out. Why not start by asking what he likes? Tease him a bit, get him to talk about a fantasy, thus giving him the opportunity to ask you something back. BOOM - WINNING!1