So my boyfriend and I have been together (and living together) for over a year. I'm head over heels, we communicate, trust each other. All in all a really healthy relationship. Last weekend he came home drunk (that doesn't bother me) from a night out with his guys. Immediately his phone goes off and since I had my head on his shoulder I saw the message that said "Aww that's sweet. (Girls name), you're awesome. Good night." I knew who the girl was and I already didn't trust her as she was texting him a while back as well as a friends boyfriend, and being TOO flirty. within seconds his phone goes off again, it's from her, and my boyfriend says "oh it's dan trying to make sure I got home safe." This was a lie so I pointed that out. He then promptly told me that this girl had been texting him all night trying to get him to go see her and that he had to tell her he wasn't interested, because he was in love with me. He even offered for me to read the conversation, but I declined because I believe him. I completely trust him. Even though I have always known he is a major flirt, I've always been (and still am) confident in us and myself. He'd be a fool to leave me (I'm pretty awesome). Even still I was pretty shaken up that night by the whole thing. That had never happened before, it's pretty insulting because she knows who I am. And I couldn't figure out why he would lie about it. We talked about it the next morning and I explained that it wasn't that I didn't trust him, its just that I don't trust her, and that what she had done was reallly disrespectful. I had a right to be a little miffed. And in no way did I tell him I didn't want him to stop talking to her (even though I would like that). I'm not that type of girl. Still he didn't really understand it. All he could think was that he didn't do anything wrong, and I truly don't think he did. We talked through it and seemed to clear things over, but it's been a couple of days and he seems pretty distant and cold. This is obviously still on my mind. A lot of it bothers me, but I don't want to burden him with it. I don't want my insecurities to sound "crazy." But does it sound like I've done something wrong? Was I wrong to tell him I was a little upset by it? I Haven't brought it up since then. So I'd like an honest mature male opinion on this because I'd really like to understand...
A girl tried to get my boyfriend to cheat on me. Did I handle this well?
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What Girls Said 1
If you want to be mature and do good. You need to be honest.
What is "that kind of girl"? You don't want to tell him to stop hanging out with her for it.
If you don't want him to hang out with that girl tell him that. Be honest stop bullsh*tting him. It is torturous enough you caught him lying, now you are still "shaken up" as you say and he knows that. He will notice. So he knows, when you said you are fine, you lied. And since it is so, the guy may be under the impression that either he is walking on a newly formed minefield, or you have no self respect and will take everything in in order to eventually, spontaneously combust taking him down with you.
He lied because a girl was texting him. No matter how he puts it, it sounds bad. It just does, so telling you in the first place would be useless, if the original intention is to get rid of her anyway. Regardless of him feeding his ego with her attention or not.
Also the sentence "I trust you, but I don't trust her." is total bullsh*t. It takes two to tango and if you disagree, then you are basically telling him he is not enough of a man to control his urges. Either you don't trust him and are lying to him by saying that, or you consider him a child. Either would annoy me in his shoes.0
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