Why is my boyfriend be texting and calling other women?

He says they are friends (many different women). He thinks he is justified in talking with all these women because they do the same sport. He has moved things along really fast, says he loves me, wants to marry me and it's only been 4 months. I asked if he was saying such things to keep me around, he said that would be a waste of his time. Well, then why is he calling/texting other women at all hours of the night? He is always glued to his phone, keeps the ringer silent and won't answer if the phone happens to ring out loud. I feel he is hiding something. Guys, what do you think? Is he a waste of time? He also has tons of pictures of himself out drinking and arm around many different women. I guess he just not be my type because I don't enjoy seeing pictures of him with other women. He said he doesn't know how to remove photos. (I wonder how dumb he thinks I am? Maybe I am? Or maybe I am paranoid?) Any advice? Is this guy hiding something?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • The thing is, he's not hiding it, he's doing it in front of you, and your second guessing what's going on, because he's taking the piss, and 4 months, he's just telling you what he thinks you want to know, just to keep you thinking that he wouldn't cheat, but seriously he is, a guy wouldn't flaunt it like this if he was into his woman, she would be his main concern and priority, not these other girls, and as for the pics, talk about throw it in your face and treat you stupid, you need better and believe that you can do better, because this guy has no respect for you to do any of this,x

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What Guys Said 18

  • It's pretty obvious he's hiding some obsessive atttraction to women he doesn't even know well, and all the time claiming he wants to marry you.

    AFter only 4 months, it's a little unusual he'd been talking about marriage.

    Likely that's just a way to deflect yur criticism about these other women, imao.

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  • I think he sounds like a bad apple. I think he is a waste of time. Maybe he thinks you're that dumb - if so then firstly he's wrong, and secondly you shouldn't be with someone who has such a low opinion of you. You are not that dumb - this is evident on account of that you're questioning his character and his actions alone. I don't think your paranoid. He is probably hiding something (like a mistress or two or a few).

    Also it sounds like he's trying to trap you/keep you by way of marriage. My advice is drop him.

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  • I think you are going to get hurt if you believe this guy will be faithful to you.

    If you are okay with sharing him, then go for it.

    I don't think marriage is going to bring a stop to this behavior.

    If it were only a "friend" thing, then he would not refrain from speaking to them in front of you all the time.

    You already said you don't like his actions, you are the one who needs to change the man you date, he has nothing to loose by keeping you too.

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  • It's too hard to tell if he is hiding something. No one here knows the guy. Anyone here that says he is "obviously" doing something behind your back is wrong and judgemental.

    Some guys have lots of friends that are girls, and can be very legit about it. Some are players and would cheat as often as possible... some just like the attention of the opposite sex but would never do anything to hurt you. There are many possibilities here.

    My advice... Focus on yourself and what you can fix, not what he could or should fix. Part of love is being able to let go of someone if they are happier elsewhere so getting annoyed with him talking to other females is only going to drag you down, not him. Jealousy is a negative emotion that will only make your life miserable. I think you need to find out the facts, but do so in a mature fashion and do not be jealous of other females.

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  • If his female friends really are just that, he should be proud to have you along in their company. You don't have to be friend-LY with all your partner's friends, but if you are an integral part of his life then he should be happy to introduce you to them as his (only) girlfriend (who he wants to marry!).

    But that's something that should come from him alone. If it doesn't, then yes, he is getting SOMEthing from the company of other women that he's not getting with you (understanding, trust, different activities, sex..?). That (or some of it) could also be a happy arrangement, but the arrangement should be between the 2 of you.

    We all have things that we share with friends outside of our relationship, but it's when you start hiding it that distrust & paranoia set in.

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  • If he stresses you out this much, you don't need him reguardless of whether he is cheating on you or not. Maybe its other women calling him, and maybe its bill collectors he's embarrased about. Maybe he's glued to his phone because he has dirty texts from other ladies, or maybe he's afraid you might look in his internet history and see all the mobile p*rn he's been looking at.

    My point is, its only been 4 months. Just cut your losses and get out is what I would do. Besides, saying marriage after four months? If he's in his 30's, he knows better (or at least he should). All the other stuff I would say could be an honest coincidence, but the I wanna marry you thing makes me think he's up to something.

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  • To me there one step to solve this:

    1.Talk to him.It might sound superficial but Conversation is the most important thing in a relationship.Tell him how you feel about this and ask him to at least reduce his behavior if not stop it at all.If he refuses you shuld ask yourself if you want to be with a guy like him.

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  • I don't think he is your type. You're on this site 'talking' to strange men without your boyfriend's knowledge. How is what he is doing very different?

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  • Possibly because he wants to see if he can eventually sleep with some of them.

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  • You answered your own question multiple times already inadvertently, a guy likes his own space, just like any woman would - but if he's spending hours at night contacting other women.. well - leave.

    Good luck.

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  • it seems to me that he have some "lifeboats" around.

    flirting a bit so he has some doors open.

    but some guys are afraid to be alone, so give it some time and see if he give you more trust and slides away from the female contacts.

    maybe he is a player.

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  • You either trust the guy or you don't. It's that simple.

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  • cus he's a twat

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  • TALK TO HIM.

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  • Are you not giving him enough sex ? That could be the reason y

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  • Maybe he's hiding his text tone from you because you're freaking out on him. I know if I had someone acting like my mother over something, it doesn't make me stop doing whatever it is...it just makes me keep it away from that person so I don't have to hear them piss and moan about it.

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  • It seems that you're better off talking this out with him.

    Though, you should really trust him until proven otherwise.

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  • Oh I don't know, maybe because he thinks women and men can be "just friends". He thinks he can have his cake and eat it too, everyone knows they can't

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What Girls Said 3

  • He doesn't seem to be trying to hide too much - unless you've found all this out by snooping. Guys having female friends is completely normal.

    I have a couple of male friends who I text a lot, we talk a lot. One is married. The other is single. It doesn't effect how much we talk to one another because well ... we're friends. It's not relevant to our relationship.

    I also have a lot of male friends who I hang out with when I go out; and there will be loads of photos of me and then hugging or posing together. We're not in a thing. I'm not trying to get him and they're not trying to get me.

    I think what you need to do is talk to him about it. Tell him that it bothers you- but instead of asking him to stop being friends with these girls; why not meet them and hang out with them when he does. Get to know them and then maybe you'd have more to base your concerns on. Either that - or you'll realize it's innocent and friendly and nothing more.

    But for now - to me, it seems you're not basing your suspicions on very much at all.

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    • While there's certainly a real chance that he's a player, and you need to be prepared for that, Heatherlu is absolutely right: you need to make a much bigger effort to learn the WHOLE story before you make a decision, unless there's simply NO way you could deal with this even if it is all innocent. If that's the case, then just break up now, because he isn't going to change.

  • He is a P-L-A-Y-E-R.

    Girl look it up!Dude is playing you.I bet my savings account he is.You know it in your gut,so stop ignoring it.What should you do?Leave him.Don't be naive.

    #1.Moving to fast in a short time.

    #2.Calling/texting women at all hours of the...NIGHT.

    #3.Ringer silent,won't answer it around you...

    #4.You feel he is hiding something...

    Do yourself a favor and...

    WAKE UP.

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  • Sounds like a flirt.

    But some people are just naturally (and INNOCENTLY) charismatic.

    You might be able to answer your own question if you take a look at his past relationships.

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