First Date red flags Major or Minor issues?

OK So here's the deal...Went on a first date with this guy I met online but found out coincidentally I work in the same building with him. Realized tonight looking back there were 4 red flags That came up that concern me... 1) his online profile says single...He's really divorced..I kinda wanna know why but didn't ask...Figured its too deep for the first date...2) He had at least 4 glasses of wine when I thought you should only have 1-2 on a first date? 3) I want to be married long term and he says he's not so sure about a second go around with marriage... I don't want to marry him but if something works out I don;t want to be disappointed if we aren't on the same page ...and 4) he had his cell out the whole time and would occasionally text while with me which tells me his whole attention wasn't on me... Should I go one the second date with him he already asked me for? He text me with in 45 minutes of the date being over saying he had a really good time and wants a second date? Is he into me or looking for tail? WOuld I be wasting my time with this guy or am I being too picky and should I be more forgiving since he said he was pretty nervous?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • 1) his online profile says single...He's really divorced..

    That's his business. Not the business of every random stranger who talks to him.

    2) He had at least 4 glasses of wine when I thought you should only have 1-2 on a first date?

    Everyone's body is different. There is no rule. But as long as he didn't get drunk and do something stupid, it's fine.

    3) I want to be married long term and he says he's not so sure about a second go around with marriage... I don't want to marry him but if something works out I don;t want to be disappointed if we aren't on the same page

    You run that risk with every guy actually. It's kind of like when women say they aren't interested in dating. Of course they are, just with the right guy. Same here, he would definitely be interested in marriage, but with the right woman.

    4) he had his cell out the whole time and would occasionally text while with me which tells me his whole attention wasn't on me...

    This is a problem and it's rude. You should politely say something about that if he makes it habit.

    WOuld I be wasting my time with this guy or am I being too picky and should I be more forgiving since he said he was pretty nervous?

    If you are attracted to him and find him interesting, then all of these above things don't matter. Just go for it.

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What Guys Said 2

  • i find texting someone on a date very disrespectful... that doesn't seem like a nervous guy.

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  • You should just go with him.

    The more you date him, the better it is to your favor that he'll change his mind.

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What Girls Said 3

  • Okay, it's a first date and in some ways you're thinking way too far ahead. I know at over 30, we're thinking of what we want long-term, but wondering if the fact he's not sure about a second marriage is a problem after one date is too much.

    If he's 'divorced' then he is 'single'. He just doesn't want that on his profile, he probably prefers to discuss that in more detail on a one-to-one rather than be judged by it immediately.

    He probably had four glasses of wine because he was nervous. There's no set number of drinks to have on a date.

    The only red flag I see is the fact he was texting during your date. That's rude and you're right, it means he's not focusing his attention on you, which he should be. I would accept the second date, why not? But if he gets his phone out, I'd make a jokey remark about it but one which shows that you don't appreciate it, he needs to be pulled up on that.

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  • disrespectful to text while on a date,he must be circular dating..thats the biggest red flag

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  • if something about him seems suspicious or uneasy it probably is! if you get a bad vibe from someone or something just "doesn't feel right" it probably isn't. That happened to me, I liked him but he seemed dishonest and turns out he was a really bad guy and a total liar. So I should have listened to my instincts!

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