He's terminal and just admitted his feelings for me!

OMG what do I do? This hurts so much! A really close friend that I have a thing for has finally admitted that he has feelings for me because he is dieing! He didn't tell me though. We've got the same two close mutual guy friends. It's always the four us together.

I had sex with him last week, before I really knew what he was going through, and he got weird after. I've always wanted to date him, but I never thought he was into me. I knew I could be mature about just sex so I went along with it, and then I found out that he didn't want to die without being with me just once, and that made him realize just how much he cares about me.

He's afraid to tell me because he don't want me to try and date him now because he doesn't think its fair and that I'll just get hurt.

This is so hard! And I feel like such a bitch but I also have to wonder if he's words are true, or the desperate thoughts of a dieing man.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I'm so sorry to hear that. That's heavy. I really wish you didn't have to go through this. But how much time does he have? You guys time together is your time together. You guys both already have feelings for each other so it's gonna hurt regardless. Be with him.

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    • 3 years. He's on the transplant list, but the projected wait is 5.

    • Damn. I hate to hear that. Spend time with him, experience things with him. I say go for it.

What Guys Said 2

  • I feel for this dude because I am sort of in a similar situation. I don't know if I'm dying or if I'm going to die anytime soon, but I know my days are numbered. I feel for this dude, because I'm very much into this girl, and I have no way of telling her and it's so messed up because I have never felt this way about anyone before.

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  • Marry him, make the rest of his life as happy as you can, and he'll leave everything to you in the will.

    Win win.

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    • He doesn't know that I know, I told him that I didn't feel that way early on so that I didn't scare him off, and I'm going through a divorce. And I'm not sure if that last line was meant to diffuse or distract, but not funny dude. I don't care about money, this is a life and a friend that could never be replaced.

What Girls Said 2

  • Spend time with him. Makes plans to do something fun together. He doesn't have to know that you know. Just make his last days happier and make him smile.

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  • Well, you don't have to tell him that you found out that he wants to date you... Just spend as much time with him as possible. maybe hold his hand, make him laugh and always smile. Give him hugs and kiss him gently on the forehead. Just show him how much he means to you, even though it hurts.

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    • We don't ever really touch. Sometimes I'll get a goodbye hug... but we just don't have that kind of relationship and when I tried that a few days ago... he brushed me away. It really hurt. The sex was purely physical, there was nothing intimate because I'm sure were both afraid the other would get weird afterwards.

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