HELP! Mixed signals from a super guy!

I met a really great guy at a dinner party awhile ago. We seemed to have some common interests and maybe a little chemistry, but we don't live in the same city. A few weeks later, I took a chance and texted him. He called me back! We chatted and he said he might be coming into town later in the month. So I waited a few weeks kind of figuring he'd call, but he didn't. I waited another week and tried texting again. I figured if he wasn't interested in me, he wouldn't bother contacting me. But he texted me back some odd message that he would certainly call if he was coming to my city, but that he doesn't like texting, he "would rather talk". I thought it was a little weird (if you prefer talking, just call, for Pete's sake!), but honest. I waited another week and a half. No call. So since he last communicated my way, I guessed I would have to knuckle under and call him again. If he didn't want to talk to me, he would screen my call. But he answered, sounded happy to talk, and yakked at me for 25 min (nobody has a pity-chat with you for 25 min when they could end it after 5, or not even bother answering). This time I got an invitation to come visit him this summer (his rationale is that my work schedule is more flexible than his). I said I would, but didn't set a date to do that because a) I wasn't sure how I felt about taking that chance (I make decisions slowly, as you may have noticed); b) I wasn't sure if I was getting played (I am pathetically inexperienced); c) I was starting to feel like I was the one jumping through all the hoops; and d) summer was several months away. Before we said goodbye, he made it clear that his work schedule was going to be awful for the next few months, but that things would be better in the spring. I made it clear that I was going on vacation during this time (I have a life too!). Fast forward 2.5 months. No communication whatsoever (probably because I haven't initiated it). So now what? I have decided that I want to go see him this summer, so should I re-initiate contact or play it chill? I seriously HATE being the pursuer, but I keep getting a relatively prompt response to all my communication (on the first try). Am I going to be stuck with that role for the duration? What's going on here? Am I friend-zoned? Delusional? Over-thinking everything (probably)?

Mme. Patience


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What Guys Said 1

  • You should re-initiate contact. You'll not come out as a pursuer.

    Actually, by reconnecting with him because of lost contact, that will increase your chances of being with him.

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