Should people date their own age?

I know a guy who says he is not sexually attracted to women his own age and is dating a woman who is almost twenty years younger than him but he is a little uncomfortable about the relationship and wanted to know what some of his friends thought about it. I find it a little creepy but I don't know if I should be completely honest about that. I just wonder what happens when she starts aging if they are still together that he will lose his attraction for her and it makes me think he is shallow because he keeps saying how fit he is for his age(this guy is in his early sixties) but I think his butt/other body parts is probably just as wrinkled as ladies his age so why does he think he deserves better than them? I don't know, what do others think?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Have dated girls/women 13 years older and 10 years younger. Depends on the girl. Age was no the important factor. As for shallow. I guess I was not thinking that. Just what was attractive and interesting to me.

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What Guys Said 17

  • I don't have age restrictions. Good for him. Everyone has preferences. Some noble, some not so much. I don't know his motivation, but why limit your heart with an age bracket? and...how do you know they will be together for a long time? Let them worry about their own trip. It's nice to hear folks are actually dating as I am seeing more and more random hooking up without a desire for a relationship at all.

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  • I find 'I'm not attracted to women my own age' weird.

    I find 'I am attracted to my own age, but women who are closer to age X are, on average, even more attractive' is a blunt statement of reality for most men.

    I think maybe the issue is, if you're 50, and saying 'i only like women in their 20's', you're saying you ... will just keep trying to trade them in? which is a little sad.

    By contrast, a guy who is 50, marries a 30 year old, in 20 years, might be like 'that's right, my wife is that young 50 year old fox over there!'

    Anyway, 'deserve'? People don't' get what they 'deserve'. They get what they can attract.

    Yeah, older men who have decent careers can get younger women. That's not 'fair' to older women.

    24 year old women who are hot can land good looking wealthy men. That's not 'fair' to 24 year old men.

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  • If he's in his 60s and she's in her 40s I don't find that creepy at all. She's old enough to know what she's getting into. It's not like he's taking advantage of some naive young girl. They are both well into their adulthood and can decide for themselves who they want to be with.

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    • I notice a lot of answers missed that the QA said the guy is in his early 60s.

  • I am getting up there in years, and if I start a family in the next 5 years, the reproductive age math for healthy offspring does make it difficult to justify dating women my own age if I expect our family to have the option to have 2-3 kids without taking significant risks of complications.

    Assuming 4 years (dating + engagement + married couple) together before kids to make sure we're in fact right for each other, one kid, 2 years, another kid, 2 years, another kid, you are looking at 10 years before 32-35 years for a female, to start a relationship. This does not change whether I am 20 or 70 years old as it has nothing to do with me or how my butt looks - it has to do with egg quality and other aspects of the reproductive system of the female of the species. I do recognize that the older I get, the more effort and love such a marriage would take to work, and that Big Love overrides all things including the above logic.

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  • If he is 50 and your 30 a little creepy. if he were 40 and you were 20 much creepier. 20 years means much less at 70.

    But you hit the nail on the head probably a bit arogant also pretty shallow. Don't get me wrong I have things that I don't really like that are probably superficial but there are a fair number of atractive 40 year old woman .

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  • Ummm how old is this guy? If he's the same age as you (aged 30 to 35) I really hope he goes to jail being than 20 minus the age is considerd a minor!

    With that aside, not all guys are into really young women. I'm not, I'm 32 and when I look at a 20 year old, in my view she looks like a child. I always dated around my age. Different strokes for different folks they say. Heck, actress's like Katherine-Zeta jones and Sandra bullock are in their 40's and 50's and I think they look fantastic! Their husbands are lucky ducks if you ask me. And look at Eliza dushku, she's my age and I consider her the gal of my dreams. So yea, not all of us dig young.

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  • Only if they want, otherwise it's a ridiculous requirement that someone must date their EXACT age, especially after they're finished with high school. My philosophy is as long as both people are adults (16+ where I live) and love each other, then there's no reason they can't date.

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  • Yes. Within 5-6 years

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  • Who cares? Is it anyone elses business?

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  • People should date anyone they want to date. It doesn't mean they think that they "deserve" someone better than themselves. Some people might call it shallow, but the argument could be made that it is shallow to only date someone your own age. Guys are not creepy, just because they are with a woman, that you believe is too pretty for him. I have never heard about an older woman being called creepy, because she is with a younger man. I don't care who anybody is having sex with, as long as it is with a consenting adult.

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  • as long as girls my age don't feel entitled to good looking guys , ill never get a date

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  • As long as it's legal

    15 year olds should not be dating 40 year olds (obvious daddy issues)

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  • Yes – as you grow older age means less and less, but when you are in your teens, 20s, and 30s an older person (40 plus) with a younger person sometimes looks a little strange

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  • I think people should start minding their own business when it comes to who dates who. What's creepy is someone who tries to dictate what someone SHOULD like. If a 20 year old wants to marry a 90 year old, FUKK-off, shut your mouth & worry about who you are with! Not them.

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  • People have preferences when it comes to dating people.

    We can't blame them for that.

    It's their decision and they'll just deal with it later on.

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  • Allright.. First.. I think that the word creepy is thrown around much towards men . If he is in 60s and she is in her 40s these are no kids we are talking about here . These are very mature adults. And this lady is no innocent kid who is gonna be lured by an wrinkly monster. She knows what she is doing and she is a responsible adult. A lady is creeped out when she feels threatened and vulnerable.. where is the threat and where is the vulnerability here ?

    The rule here is that people have different tastes and needs . As long as they are honest about what they want then they shouldn't have anything to be worried about. If he is attracted to her.. so be it.. but also she must be attracted to him somehow.

    Why does he think this or how does she think won't help. It is them not us. May be she needs security, affection , may be he is successful and confident ..

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  • People should date the people they want to date.

    'Shallow' is really just a point of view. What is 'shallow'? What isn't 'shallow'?

    I'm 21, and I've never dated anyone much younger or much older. But a few months ago, I did have sex with a 36-year-old woman, and it was the best sex I'd ever had. So, I don't think age per se matters. But, then again, I wouldn't be with a woman I didn't find attractive.

    If he's feeling insecure in the relationship, though, then maybe he should break it off.

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What Girls Said 3

  • Yes

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  • I agree with you; it's a bit creepy. Not to say they *can't* but it's not something I would do. When I am dating someone, I'm hoping to find a future spouse and partner for life (I think most people are). So why would I marry someone 20+ years older than me? The lifespan of that relationship is pretty limited. Then there's the whole "he's old enough to be my father" thing. I'd feel really weird bringing home a guy who's closer to my parents' age than mine...

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  • I don't think it's a matter of "should" he, but I do think what goes around comes around. If he's the kind of person who is unforgivable toward aging women, while he himself is aging just as much, then I believe that will come back to haunt him in some way. His younger girlfriend may find her attraction for him drop off somewhere, or maybe it already has. She may be dating him for security while she's sleeping with a man her own age on the side. Shallow attracts shallow.

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