Seems every few months I'm on here asking for advice. Some days I wish I didn't want to be in love.
Though this may come across the wrong way, I am a very smart girl, super smart, so smart in fact that nothing gets by me, which is why I think I have such trouble w/relationships.
When I'm in a relationship, I really work hard at it. One I stayed in 6 years too long with a guy who could be sweet and generous but was mostly an antisocial nutcase. The next one was a control freak, narcissistic cheater who didn't know the truth if it smacked him in the face - and yet HE only about 3 weeks after we broke up - had a new girlfriend while I (other than a few guys here and there) haven't had a serious relationship since that one ended.
A few days ago, I had the most fantastic first date. We had such fun - and unless I'm a complete moron and don't recognize signals - I knew he was attracted and interested. He clearly didn't want the night to end. Neither did I.
I had hoped he would text me to say he had a good time. He did, but my stupid Google voice app delayed his text so I didn't see it until the next morning (this past Thursday). He said, "I had a great time tonight! Sweet dreams ..."
I texted him back the next morning to say I had a good time and made a joke about his watch (we had been joking about it the previous evening) and I also joked about how he claimed he could beat me in hand to hand combat (I train in Krav and BJJ) and that I'd let him win to soothe his male ego.
Then I heard nothing the rest of the day and into the next morning. I started thinking he took my comment the wrong way (tho I couldn't figure out how when we were joking about those very things the night b4). After speaking to a friend who said I might have insulted him, I texted him and said, "If my comments yesterday insulted you, that was not my intention."
He wrote back, and said, "No absolutely not! I really like you! Don't change. I was just swamped with work and my son and literally couldn't breath all day. I want to go out with you again!"
I was so excited and started to reply but then I was like, you mean you didn't have TWO SPARE SECONDS to text me back all day? I'm sorry but that excuse does NOT fly with me. I don't care HOW busy you are, everyone has a second to reply. So I didn't reply He seemed to think he didn't need to reply to my text from the day before. I could do the same.
All day today I thought about it. Finally, I broke down around 4:30 and said, "Still busy, boss man? Or are you thinking about berries, melted chocolate and whip cream?" (That's the desert we had the night of our date.) That text was sent over 4 hrs ago (w/no reply) and I'm now kicking myself for being such an idiot to send a text that late on a Saturday when he was prob getting ready for a date.
I feel really sad that something that I thought had potential is over in a mere 3 days but now I feel too stupid and annoyed to go further. To be basically ignored again? That speaks volumes.
Most Helpful Guy
Okay, first of all, don't expect everyone to check their messages that fast. Even if they do, just because they don't respond doesn't mean that they don't care. This is why I don't like online communication. Everyone seems to think that the other person must respond right away.
He doesn't need to have two spare seconds. When people are very busy, sending a text message can take a lot of effort. Besides, guys usually send less texts than girls. I don't even text at all.
Don't stop communicating just because you're angry. He won't know something is wrong otherwise. If you feel a certain way, if you don't communicate, he will think that everything is fine. Then you get angry because he doesn't respond, and then he gets even more confused.
Next time, schedule things well in advance. Then there will be no doubt in your mind that he will receive your text message and be able to plan things well in advance, with less room for error. Don't worry. This relationship looks pretty good so far.0
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