How long after the break up do you wait before you start dating again?

Do you just take the next one who shows some interest in you or do you wait until you are over the previous relationship?

What makes you want to date straight away after a break up?

Updates:
Ok the reason I asked this question is because a number of guys on here stated that most often than not if they are the one who is intending on ending the relationship that they start to depart emotionally from the girl, so when they do dump them they are like way ahead of the girl emotionally.


The girl is spinning from the break up when the guy has been losing interest for a bit of time before that. Initial No contact and get a new girl..thoughts please


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Most Helpful Girl

  • It depends on a lot of different factors: whether you've moved on already or still absorbed in the old love story, whether you think that new person is suitable for you or not, etc...

    I think people should consider getting into the dating scene again if these points are satisfied:

    1) You are over your previous lover: Sometimes people get into a new relationship just for rebound. They don't necessarily like the new boyfriend/girlfriend but they think it's a great way to forget their ex. I think it's a huge mistake though because it will make you feel empty inside and depressed after a while. Also, you're playing with the new guy/girl feelings which is not OK. So, I think it's important to heal first before getting into a new relationship.

    2) Take some quality time for YOU: I think after leaving someone you've loved isn't easy. You need some quality time with yourself in order to figure out what you want from life, what you learned from your past experiences, what you want and what you don't want in a future lover, etc...I think jumping from one relationship to another doesn't give you time to reflect which I think is very important. Why not enjoy life on your own for a while? Why not indulge yourself and make yourself happy until you find a great girl/guy for yourself? I think anyone should.

    3) That new person is suitable for you: I think some people (including some of my friends) think that by breaking up and getting older that they won't find a great girl/guy and that they should settle for less or for the first decent person who knocks your door. Many decent people out there, but a only a few are compatible. So, I think anyone should wait for that person who will make them happy and not just go around and date multiple people and break their hearts.

    Hope this helps. :)

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    • @update: Whoever breaks up with the other are way ahead as you said because they've made up their mind and decided to leave. The dumpee takes a while to 1) understand why 2) to get a closure 3) to heal. So, basically a guy who breaks up with a girl can move on to another girl right after the breakup because in his mind he has broken up with her a while ago, not just when he asked her for a breakup.

    • Thanks for BA! :)

What Guys Said 1

  • There really isn't a time limit. I believe that there is a certain period of time that should pass out of respect for the previous relationship regardless of how it ended. For me that is about 30 days. You can really start to look immediately, but you need to know yourself. If you still have feelings for your ex then you should wait for those to calm down out of fairness to the future relationship. It's never a good idea to enter a new relationship with baggage from the previous relationship, it will only pull you down.

    Start talking and meeting new people though as soon as possible. You don't have to date them, just talk and meet them, it will take your mind off your past relationship, and you never know what might come out of it for the future.

    The reason you want to date right after a break up is because there is a void your ex left that feels like it needs filled. For most the answer is a rebound relationship. These sometimes work but that is a rarity. For others they want to get revenge and even the score with their ex, but that is also not the best move to make. Let some time pass and reflect on where you are and where you will go.

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