Would you date a guy/girl if they were down in their luck?

Maybe they can't get a job, maybe they Haven't ever dated and feel bad about it. Maybe they don't have a clue of what they should be doing with their lives. Whatever the reason would you date them and continue to date them if they're situation didn't change for the them? Would you keep the relationship going and try to help them? Or would you leave earl would their age or your age effect your decision?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I never dated until the relationship I entered about a month ago. Call me a loser or whatever, but I was always too busy until lately.

    That being said I lost my job a couple of months ago. I had moved across the country for a high paying job and everything was looking up. I felt good about myself -like everything that was supposed to happen was about to and I was just a late bloomer.

    I was going to pay off my student loans, buy a new wardrobe, finally start trying to get a girl! I started hitting night clubs on the weekends and the first two times I did I even got to dance pretty intimately with some ladies and my self-esteem began to skyrocket because there was a girl at work who looked like she might be interested in me.

    It looked like smooth sailing: above average paycheck in the gaming industry with a position that had lots of potential for mobility. I even found myself window shopping for a crazy turquoise colored blazer to wear to the company Xmas party.

    My dreams were finally coming true! I was practically crying of happiness and relief inside.

    Then the worst thing happened. My company decided to lay-off my entire section and forbade us from going to the Xmas party for obvious reasons.

    I was given a severance package and told that I should be fine; engineers are in high demand here!

    Only...with all the lay-offs occurring cause of this damned social gaming bubble, it has become extremely hard to find people willing to hire guys who have less than 3 years of experience in the industry. I'm like a recent grad essentially -only I never got to get in with a recent grad job and now I am two years too late.

    Even so, I started online dating for the hell of it. I guess it's hard to get women to reply when you are 5'9", are unemployed, and don't fill out the field that asks if you are into recreational drugs.

    ---

    So for me, HELL YES I will date someone who is less experienced with dating. Only fools or people who cannot relate to being too busy to date would say they would filter out people based on experience.

    And if it's about dating a girl who is unemployed I would have no problem with it. Because I, too, am suffering from the effects of this damned economy.

    I might not have a job right now, but if it's anything like the last, well. Let's just say I now see why it is silly to filter out dates based on income.

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What Girls Said 4

  • Whatever the reason would you date them and continue to date them if they're situation didn't change for the them?

    - I would expect change. Eventually. They have to work their way up, like I am as well. Stepping stones. Even if it's small steps.

    Would you keep the relationship going and try to help them?

    - Yes, I'm willing to help and patiently wait for 2 years. Maybe a year and a half, depending on the pace in my life and how my lifestyle changes.

    Would their age or your age effect your decision?

    - No, their age won't. We all go at different pace in our lives. No one is ever the same.

    Again, I expect change because they're trying to improve themselves. I want to be there when their down and up. If nothing will change, I'll be moving on and maybe that'll motivate them because they wouldn't want another person walking out of their life.

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  • At my age, I wouldn't bother, because we'd be on different life tracks. I almost have my 4-year degree, have dated a lot, and have had many jobs, including the one I am working in now. I couldn't relate to a guy who hasn't dated or never had a job who was around my age, and I would likely go for someone older, so I would .

    So, we'll suppose this guy is 27-37 years old and lives in the U.S. Never had a job or girlfriend? What has he been doing with his life? Does he have controlling parents? Is he just lazy? Does he have a major mental illness that renders him incapable of functioning? Is he asexual? Is he addicted to p*rnography?

    All sorts of things would run through my head and make me skeptical. I have dated a lot of guys who were inexperienced with dating (and sadly were selfish or lacking tact at times), so I've lost patience for it and really don't want to have to teach a guy how to treat a lady, or teach him how to apply for a job.

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    • You basically described me I'm in my 20's no job live off SSI, Never had a Girlfriend because women find me unattractive and have a learning disability and women don't wanna be seen with a guy dumber then them.

  • I would, it all depends on how he treats me.

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  • Yeah, I would still be willing to date them. As long as he was actively trying to make his situation better I wouldn't mind being there for him through it.

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What Guys Said 7

  • I'd date a woman who didn't have a job as long as they are genuinely looking (but I wouldn't want them to become dependent on me though).

    I would have no problem dating a woman who didn't have much dating experience either.

    BUT I wouldn't date them just because I felt bad for them, as I don't have an obligation to (and dating someone just because you feel sorry for them is insulting to them as well).

    As for trying to help them, I would, but I also realize that there is a certain point where I can't help them with everything and they have to help themselves.

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  • YES! One of my best relationships was when a girl was feeling terrible about herself and something she did. Anyways unless you have other opportunities always take an offer to date somebody...unless they cray cray

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  • Of course but I wouldn't do it out of pity but because I was genuinely interested in them.

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  • People who dates others because they feel sorry are the worst kinds of people. They really don't give a rats behind about those people, they just do that so they don't look bad about themselves.

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  • Having not dated is not so bad. I might wonder why not, but I mean really if this person is alright, then I see no reason why I wouldn't date them, assuming I'm single, also assuming this person and I both mesh.

    As for not knowing what to do with their lives. First off, there's a quote I always liked... "Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your life…the most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don’t." After that, I say that so long as they do something, or can hold a job, or do something interesting that won't suck my own personal money dry out of the bank, things should be fine.

    I would try to help. Help is what I am good at. Though there is a thing about help. I can only help so much, in any situation, with anyone, before the other person has to step in and help themselves as well. It's one thing to be stuck in a situation, it's quite another to have no desire to change your place in life. I would help, if it's needed, and if it's wanted. If neither are a factor, I won't even try to help. If I can't help, but this person needs it, and still won't take it, then there's a problem. A serious problem. A deal breaker type of problem.

    Age can be a factor, but not always. It depends on theirs and mine. If there's a huge enough age gap, then there might be a problem, but there are ages where certain problems are understandable enough. There is also an ages (again: depending on the problem) where one can clearly tell it's not going to get better.

    For example, I had a friend who was dating a girl, living at her parents' place in her mid 20s (possibly mid-late 20s. I really can't remember at this point.), and it's at a point where she doesn't even have her own room, or bed, or stable place to sleep, but she stays with them anyway. She doesn't want to leave the nest, or even go very far from it. She has no ambition. She has no direction. She has no money. She has no job, or desire to get one. She has nothing, and just sorta slacks around. Naturally, after a couple months of this he got the message loud and clear that nothing about her was ever going to change. I totally get why he left. If it were me, I doubt I would have dated her in the first place. But I digress.

    I wonder. Did this make enough of a point though? Does this answer your question well enough?

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  • People who are "down on their luck" make their own destiny.

    There is ZERO excuse for not having a job. There are PLENTY of jobs out there.

    If you truly cannot find a job then MAKE a job.

    Unless the situation involves external forces outside of their control (personal tragedy) then ABSOLUTELY NOT because it tells me the person lack motivation and ambition which are 2 things I require in a significant other.

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    • Of course there's jobs out there the problem is not everyone's gonna get hired. And its not like any Tom, d*** and harry can go to a bank and open or get a loan.

  • I would still date that girl.

    As long as she's doing her best to pursue her success and never let her situation hold her down, then that would be attractive to me.

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