Is he a good guy who has strong feelings for me or is he just mostly just acting?

We have been talking/long distance dating for 8 months, and dating, somewhat on and off for the last 4 of those months. (The first 4 months he was working far away.) We're both 33 and we both just got out of long term relationships with dysfunctional people who we both agree needed help. I was engaged before we started dating. I broke off my engagement 3 months before I met this guy. Mainly because of this I think, I'm filled with dread about relationships. However, I immediately fell for this guy in a way I feel I have no control over. I guess its made me filled with hope but also horrible horrible anxiety at the same time. I never expected to feel the way I did, especially so fast and about someone like him. It made me feel like I was kind of losing my mind. I've told him we should see other people several times and that has been because I've been honestly trying to give him an "out". But in 8 months neither of us have dated anyone else seriously. But we have gone pretty long stretches of time without talking. After this last time, we started to really seriously see each other a lot. I met and hung out with his friends. He started to get very open with me in terms of saying things like how much I mean to him, he cares so much about me, how much he likes spending time with me and just in general he's seemed to really kind of out of nowhere act pretty vulnerable. I freeze up when he tells me things like this (and I hate that I do that by the way). But it's because it feels too good to be true. I want to pour my heart out to him and I just can't. So here's the thing. I was trying to turn his podcast off that we were listening to one night after he fell asleep and I pulled down the top tab to try and find the podcast player-bringing down the tab also showed a new message from a girl saying they should meet up for drinks this week. I really didn't want to do this but my desire to know so as to not be taken advantage of overwhelmed me, and I quickly saw quite a few texts--all within that week- to different girls talking about their recent dates and making plans. I saw a text to a girl "congratulating" her on the fact that he had a sex dream about her, and I saw a text about a date he had set up for later the evening of the day I was there--we had not agreed to be exclusive. But it hurt so much to see it I had to leave. Later his first reaction was to say he didn't want to date anyone else and let's just be exclusive, and that's all he had wanted anyway. When I asked him why he wasn't just honest with me before, that he was actively dating multiple women, he said, I guess I didn't want you to know. A little more talking and we agreed to try and be exclusive. A little over a week later he has said these 2 things: "I could be so good to you, if you'd just let me" which he just said when we were in bed. And "I just need to take care of you" which again was just a weird, very touching thing he just kind of blurted out when we hugged recently. Other than


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What Guys Said 1

  • He's just acting.

    Just want you for sexual reasons.

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