What do I do when a guy texts me he is going to carve he loves me in himself?

I randomly stopped texting this one guy after I told him I wasn't in the mood (due to a 10 hr stupid road trip to the dunes) which is a lame excuse. And then I continued to ignore him for 3 days now after reading his first few responses and now everyday he continues to text things like:

-"(My name) I'm very passionate about you and everything so please talk to me I don't know what I'll do without you I f***ing miss you so much, it's literally tearing a hole..."

-"I f***ing love you I'll carve it on myself if I have to"

-"you're my inspiration, goal..."

-"I'm crying and crying"

These were in actual paragraphs through text, he sent me a picture of the scruff he grew, told that he has stopped eating and now I have 27 missed calls...

I'm sort of worried as I'm sure all of those who reading are for his health (if he is telling the truth, which I can only assume since he lives back in cal and I'm now in another area)...

I'm also worried because of how he's acting out, when we strictly have a flirtation-ship and nothing serious between us (I'm 18 and he's 19, I don't favor serious relationships @ our age especially long distance. Even though I'm visiting him over the summer again). I'm quite the stubborn person and so naturally, I want to continue ignoring him until he or I figure something out- sort of pushing the limits, but he did say he would never quit..

I feel like a bad person for trying to handle this situation (in his case, I don't know if it's anxiety, drama, self harm, and/or etc...) when I have a feeling it's just me & maybe he has a right to act this way...? Maybe I need the help with not being a bitch? Or is this a sign of a creepy cling on guy?

I'm obviously confused and slightly a bitch. Or a lot... I'll be satisfied with and can work with a tiny hint.


Most Helpful Girl

  • NO. This is not in any way your fault. This is already unhealthy and is starting to border on emotional abuse. And the abuser is not you. It is him. He has absolutely no right to act this way.

    Three days. Three. If he can't handle you being on your own for that long, when you are not even in a relationship, how do you think you will be if you give in to him? He will expect you to give in at all times, be always at his side, and do what he wants you to or face the consequences. And he will say it's because 'I loooooove you, look what you're doing to me," when that isn't true at all. Listen to yourself, you're already starting to blame yourself for what he's doing. That is what it sounds like when someone tolerates abuse from another person in a relationship. You need to walk away. Don't try to continue a relationship with an unstable person (and I don't just mean romantic relationships, friendships too).

    Love is supposed to be healthy. Love respects both people and their time. You've given him enough respect. You are not obligated to give in to his demands, as they are ridiculous. He is being creepy. This is more than a red flag, it's warning flares and sirens. He's acting as though he's addicted and suffering withdrawal, and it would be a bad idea to enable his 'addiction' behavior by continuing to be his friend and tolerating his acting out.


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What Guys Said 4

  • Tell him that you ar uncomfortable with how he is talking, and that you do not want to speak, or text with him again. You are not interested in a relationship, and the next step will be to block his number if he cannot respect your wishes.

    • So I shouldn't be worried about his potential threats (possibly empty promises?) I'd like to stay his friend without all the drama, but are you saying that won't happen now?

    • His threats are a way of manipulating you. If he actually follows through, that's none of your concern. Um. The drama train left the station a long time ago. No friendship is possible with this guy.

    • Exactly, this guy isn't rational.

  • I would stay away... Personally if I was you I wouldn't visit him over the summer! he sounds a bit unstable... If he has threatened to carve things into his body then what else is he capable of? He could even get violent with you or something...

    Oh and 27 missed calls! I think that's past clingy... That's actually one insane guy...

  • He went a little far but I had the exact same feeling. It's like a bad slip up that I did I don't know why I went crazy over this girl but she thought I went nuts. She still talks to me and were on the same page but it was weird when I read those texts back, I was literally crazy about this girl when she stopped texting me for awhile because she was busy.

  • He's really creepy.

    Real creepy.

    Don't be with that guy.


What Girls Said 3

  • He's creepy and trying to control you via "I'll harm myself if you don't do this!" crap. Run. Far away. He is stalking you. Read Gift of Fear by Gavin deBecker. You -may- need a restraining order.

    And you weren't a bitch. You were upfront and said you were tired and didn't feel like talking. You weren't dating him. You're not in a relationship with him (love your flirtationship term, btw), and even if you were in a relationship, he does not own you.

    This stuff is why I hate how "romantic" stories involve the guy being obsessive and clingy and creepy, and thus girls are made to feel "like a bitch" if the guy makes grand "romantic" (aka creepy) gestures and she doesn't feel the same. Then she feels guilty, gives in, and enters into a whole world of codependency and misery, catering to his insecurities and controlling tendencies. This guy probably identifies as a "nice guy" too.

  • I agree with many of the others. If you are still worried about his health you could try to contact someone you both know in the area to check up on him, or even tell him that if he continues to make threats to his health you will contact the local authorities. Hospitals can often hold someone for 24-72 hour for mental stability evaluation. I know its drastic, but it is an option if you are extremely worried about his life, but don't want to get dragged in to his issues.

  • ignore him.