Christians: how do you feel about dating non-believers?

I'm a Christian, and he's agnostic. I don't plan on changing my beliefs, and I'm pretty sure that he doesn't intend to change his, either.

I'd really like the opinions of other Christians as to whether or not this is something that I should pursue. It would also be really helpful to hear from any Christians who actually HAVE dated an agnostic. For example, did the difference cause issues? If so, what kind of issues did it cause?

  • Go for it!
    57% (4)69% (9)65% (13)Vote
  • Run from it!
    43% (3)31% (4)35% (7)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Guy

  • 2 Corinthians 6:14-18 ESV / 47 helpful votes

    Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness? What accord has Christ with Belial? Or what portion does a believer share with an unbeliever? What agreement has the temple of God with idols? For we are the temple of the living God; as God said, “I will make my dwelling among them and walk among them, and I will be their God, and they shall be my people. Therefore go out from their midst, and be separate from them, says the Lord, and touch no unclean thing; then I will welcome you, and I will be a father to you, and you shall be sons and daughters to me, says the Lord Almighty.”

    Exodus 22:18 ESV

    “You shall not permit a sorceress to live.

    Leviticus 20:27 ESV

    “A man or a woman who is a medium or a necromancer shall surely be put to death. They shall be stoned with stones; their blood shall be upon them.”

    1 Corinthians 5:9-13 ESV

    I wrote to you in my letter not to associate with sexually immoral people— not at all meaning the sexually immoral of this world, or the greedy and swindlers, or idolaters, since then you would need to go out of the world. But now I am writing to you not to associate with anyone who bears the name of brother if he is guilty of sexual immorality or greed, or is an idolater, reviler, drunkard, or swindler—not even to eat with such a one. For what have I to do with judging outsiders? Is it not those inside the church whom you are to judge? God judges those outside. “Purge the evil person from among you.”

    1 Corinthians 7:12-13 ESV

    To the rest I say (I, not the Lord) that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he should not divorce her. If any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him.

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    • Deuteronomy 6-10 - "If thy brother, the son of thy mother, or thy son, or thy daughter, or the wife of thy bosom, or thy friend, which is as thine own soul, entice thee secretly, saying, Let us go and serve other gods Thou shalt not consent unto him, nor harken unto him, neither shall thine eye pity him, neither shalt thou spare, neither shalt thou conceal him. But thou shalt surely kill him; thine hand shall be first upon him to put him to death, and afterward the hand of all the people.

    • Whoever sacrifices to any god, except the Lord alone, shall be doomed. (Exodus 22:20 NAB)

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What Guys Said 6

  • In most cases, no I wouldn't with very rare exceptions. I only care to get in relationships that I know will be long term so I wouldn't bother dating a non christian. Atheist, definitly not but an agnostic, perhaps.

    I would just always have at the back of my mind that this person doesn't really understand me and the most important thing to me. They can accept it but won't embrace it so to an extent from that perspective we would always be distant

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    • Like what the other user mentioned... if you do care for it to be long term you should consider certain things that will come about in the future. E.g their feelings to what you would raise your children, the fact that you pray, would it be respected in the long term or just become a nuisance to him.. You won't be able to truly express your relligion if you need someone to speak to, it would only be him ust nodding but disagreeing with it. perhaps this might be useful to you.

  • I wouldn't recommend it. I dated a Christian girl (although she wasn't that devout) and we sometimes clashed over it. Now, this was just a teen romance, but if you talk about getting married or (especially) raising children, it may get very difficult. In the end, it's hard to relate to each other. Not to troll or offend, but to me a person saying she believes in god is like saying she believe in Peter Pan. I can't relate to such imaginery. Obviously, she probably couldn't understand how I can not believe in a deity, so where do you go from there?

    But hey, love is a powerful feeling. Sometimes you start out with a small disadvantage (which I would call two beliefs in a relationship), but manage to get past that together.

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  • I am in a similar problem as you . Only I am Muslim and the pool of females around me are mainly non Muslim. I am confused.. should I try dating and see how it goes or should I refrain ?

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  • If you're strict and driven daily by your beliefs, don't. If you have your own beliefs but they're not the major part of your life and you're able to respect and not shove them constantly into someone else's then it's fine.

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  • I'm on the agnostic atheist side of this situation, and have dated people of different beliefs than I. If religion is something you take seriously (as in, are involved with your church or some other organization) then you'll pay attention to this aspect more than someone who is just a casual believer.

    For me, I don't care what others believe so it's never been a problem before. But that's just me, and I'm not sure if someone outside of your situation can tell you if it's actually going to cause tension or not. Like I said above, if you take religious beliefs seriously, then that right there might already have introduced tension. If just one of your take religious beliefs seriously (which it looks like you might), then I'd say you're in for some butting of heads.

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  • My dad was an atheist, and my mother was a devout believer. It worked out well for them.

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What Girls Said 7

  • The deciding factor is how respectful of it he is. I'm a Christian and have dated both a believer and a nonbeliever. If he's respectful and doesn't try to argue with you or change your beliefs (and you don't either), then why dump a perfectly good guy just because he's not Christian? When I was with my nonbeliever boyfriend, we just didn't really talk about religion. Period. He waited for me to say grace before meals and occasionally came to church events with me, but he was cool about it. Ironically, it was with my believer boyfriend that I had more issues...because he would argue about how devoted one should be, argue about certain viewpoints, how we should behave, blah blah, stupid things. So dating a believer could actually bring more tension to your relationship.

    It also depends on how serious you are and where you are in life. If you're just dating, then definitely go for it. If you're thinking of marriage, you need to find out how you guys would raise your kids and stuff before diving into it.

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  • My dad is Christian and goes to church every week. My mom is pretty much agnostic and doesn't go to church. They've been married 35+ years and I don't think religion has ever presented an obstacle, just been a subject for discussions when we were being raised I guess. It can work but probably just means more negotiating about certain things...

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  • As a Christian, I would date someone of no religion or a different religion because personally I wouldn't mind if they have different beliefs to me as long as it didn't cause problems in the relationship. As long as there are other reasons why I liked the guy it wouldn't be a problem, as there's more to my personality than just my religion.

    I wouldn't be happy if he tried to change my beliefs though. If I were you I'd persue it if you really like him :)

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  • It may work, but I'm sure you'll have issues about it.

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  • Man it's so hard because they're the majority. I try from time to time because the bottom line is I can't be as open & affectionate with the man as I would like to be due to his views. I want to wait until marriage & they want sex.

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  • I'm Catholic and my boyfriend doesn't follow any religion. I'm totally OK with that. I'm not a strict Catholic. I haven't gone to church in 13 years. Church is boring anyway. They do the same thing all the time. My parents and sister have stopped going too.

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  • I'm not Christian but I think my perspective could be valuable to you as well. I have my own beliefs and while they may be based off christian views, I do not consider myself Christian. I think that as far as dating goes, it shouldn't cause you too many problems. It could affect you both though if you decide to get married or have kids. Is it important to your family that you date a Christian? Would your wedding be religious? Is he OK with a religious wedding? Would you be OK without one? Would he mind his kids being raised as Christians? Is it important to you that your kids be raised as Christians? Would you mind if your kids weren't raised as Christians? These are all preferences that need to be discussed between the two of you, if things were to get serious. Sometimes there is room for compromise, sometimes there is not. It really depends on each specific couple.

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