I tend to end up dating jerks and I do not know why. They tend to start out as being nice and acting like they are exactly what I want and then they show how they really are after about a year or a little less. I have this guy friend who I have been friends with since high school age. He is a nice guy, decent looking, and I know what he is really like and he has always kind of waited around for me. He has dated other girls but basically says he'd pick me if I wanted to be with him. I went on one date with him a year ago and it felt weird to me. Should I try again? I feel like maybe I am not attracted to the right guys and should force myself to really give it a shot. The other problem is he lives an hour away now and I don't know how often id see him. Should I try dating him? Do you think that it takes time to develop those feelings esp if it started as just friendship? Also maybe it wouldn't be such a bad thing to have someone who likes me more then I like them I feel like in my other relationships by the end I am trying harder then they are and it sucks.
Most Helpful Guy
-_- Do I only like jerks? Should I try to make myself like the nice guy?
Listen to "why-makoto-kun" She's my female sidekick in this. If you don't want to listen to her. Then I'll shove these words into your brain. "GROW UP!". You are in your late twenties for Godsake! and Still don't know what you want in a relationship. Why do I say so. You are like 70% of all the girls we guys meet. You say you want nice guys and you go for the jerks and then whine and cry because he didn't commit. Then you have the Nice Guy who's always around waiting for you to make up your mind and you just kick him to the curb thinking he ain't good enough, I don't feel butterflies (he must not be my true love).
That's pathetic you know that. -_- It's called tough love FYI.
The reason most girls go for "Bad boys" it's because these guys are really good at being ARROGANT, LOUD and SELF-DESTRUCTIVE. These guys also provide lots of "PASSION" This translates into what teenage girls call a CRUSH (Infatuation state). Immature girls follow blindly that tickling feeling, like a dog chasing his own tail, because often times they think that is what love is supposed to be all the time. It's impossible to be on a high all the time without doing drugs (biology class).
As opposed to a "Nice guy" who are the everyday normal guys, who girls don't even look at because they think being "HARD WORKING" isn't enough, Being "SMART" is boring and being/staying "healthy" is easy. These guys are more likely to provide "Intimacy", which translates into the calm routine and the everyday comfort.
You don't have to force anything regarding who you should date, but you should really consider what both types of guys have to offer and choose according to what your needs are (51% of needs met is enough to make a decision.)
One makes a great "Daddy figure" and the other a great "Lover". Which one of the two will be the father of your children that decision will belong strictly to you.
^_^ You might want to keep 2-3 guys as friends and potential Boyfriend around you, by just know that at 30 years old these backup guys might get choosen by other girls who have ran out of options too and when that happens you might have missed your chance at happiness.
You should really read "UNHOOKED GENERATION" by Jillian Straus. One story that really made my day. Was of a 32 or 35 years old Corporate woman, who was having trouble with her boyfriend who wanted marriage and kids. She wanted a promotion at work that was talking forever to get and he wanted to start a family. They got into a fight and she ended the relationship because she blamed him for not understanding her. A year and a half-later she hears that the guy she dumped is married and expecting a baby. She went to the baby Shower and got heartbroken, when she held the most beautiful baby she had ever seen and got destroyed at the Idea that the baby could've been hers. Still waiting for the Raise.0