Should I love him or leave him?

We've been dating exclusively for 7 months, we didn't demand each other to be exclusive but neither one of us are dating others. He told me we are not in a relationship. He introduced me to few of his friend, he didn't say I'm his girlfriend but he was holding hands with me and telling his friends he made me dinner and that we've been together for 7 months.

Lately he is making more effort to impress me, showing his sensitive side and more attentive. Since we met he always initiate all the dates and is still the same.

However, I'm not sure if he is stepping up his game because now I look better or because he is trying to take my attention away from other guy. A guy he believes I like.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Sounds like he is having the benefit of relationship without committing to you. Don't get your hopes up by his nice act unless he say that he wants to be in relationship with you. I would run if I were you

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What Guys Said 1

  • He wants to be serious with you now.

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    • what makes you think that? because of the competition?

What Girls Said 4

  • He's keeping one foot out the door. I did that with a guy once, and I wasn't trying to be cruel, but I just wasn't sold on him enough to call him my boyfriend. But we acted like a couple and were exclusive. As soon as we ended things, I met a guy a few months after that I committed to no problem because I was sure I was very into him.

    It's been 7 months, and that's more than enough time to figure out if he can at least call you his girlfriend or not. If he still can't say it and won't claim your relationship, he probably never will. I would leave at this point. That what the guy I was dating before did, and he was smart to do so, because I was never going to commit.

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  • This sounds spot on to a guy that I was dating/seeing. He used to do all the relationship things like hold my hand and take me for coffee dates, made me dinner, etc, etc, but wasn't actually in a relationship with me. I thought we were but turns out he was just using all the benefits of what I had to offer.

    Regardless of whether or not this guy is being nicer than before is not the point. He's just running the hot/cold game to his advantage. My advice-run. Get out of that situation with him before he hurts your feelings. I'm talking from experience and it took me 7 months to step away from the guy I thought was my boyfriend when he wasn't, and it hurt me deeply, but when I found that strength to move on, I never looked back and I'm happy now. Do it girl, I know you can.

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    • Your guy sounds similar to mine, I can tell mine is very insecure even he is acting big and bad. When I told him I have the right to date around he sound upset but say it's OK you have the right to. I wonder if I should start looking and then leave him and say I have someone else now.. cos I did leave him but he knows I'm not seeing anyone else so he ignores it?

    • You need to distance yourself from him. It's going to be very hard but it's important that you are not giving him the impression that he can do what he likes, when he wants, or say what he feels even though he doesn't want a relationship. If you feel confident in meeting someone else and then telling this guy to get out of your life then do it, as long as your distancing yourself at the same time. It may take a while to meet another guy though.

    • yea it could take awhile to meet someone else, I think he is very jealous of someone I like, he was trying to stop me from meeting him. He didn't do that by telling me not to, he asks questions like why do you have to meet him? Which is pretty lame of him... doesn't want to commit and wants my full attention..

  • he needs to make you two official or risk losing u..he doesn't introduce you as a gf? you are allowing this to go on.

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  • He sounds like he is being extremely cautious. I don't understand why he says you are not in a relationship. It sure sounds like one to me! Ask him why he says that.

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    • he said he doesn't believe in relationship anymore. could be an excuse so he can move on easily? he did say he can't accept someone grows old...

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    • I agree with Hellboy, he's a lot worse than just a classic commitment-phobe. This guy has real problems. You're wasting your time on him in my opinion.

    • He does have a lot of problems.. sometimes he has nightmare from the past

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