Okay, so I'm a really nice guy. I mean to a fault. For instance if a guy is rude to any girl, even a girl I'm not friends with I'll say something to the guy. That being said, my girlfriend kissed another guy, or rather he kissed her and she kissed him back. It was a short kiss, less than 10 seconds and no tongue. She told me right after it happened and cried for a solid hour, and almost had a panic attack. I forgave her, even though I had warned her that she needed to make boundaries. She works with him, and I didn't ask her to quick her job even though I wanted her to. She's not very confrontational but she made it clear to him that they couldn't talk anymore etc. She also promised she would listen to me next time I warned her about a guy. She promised she would never cheat on me again. And I told her if it happened again, I would leave her. Long story short, another guy, same job, he kissed her. Once again she ignored all my warnings, didn't set boundaries, even defended the guy when I said he had a crush on her. I forgave her again... It's again 3 months later. She's kissed two guys, and she still works with both of them. She's blocked them both on Facebook, twitter, and on her phone. But she still works with them both. Is it wrong for me to give her an ultimatum that "she must quick by xx/xx date?" And should I of forgiven her a second time even when she knew that I would break up with her I it happened again? I just would like some opinions, or tips, or something. I love her so much, and I know when she's lying. I really believe she means it this time, but I also thought she meant it the first time...
Most Helpful Guy
I'm sorry to say but I'm inclined to believe the problem isn't your girlfriend's place of employment, it's her. There are many environments where men and women work together and obviously some crushes do develop. The key is in the character of the person whether to act on it or not if they know they're in a relationship.
Additionally, your girlfriend has been warned on several occasions and yet she still exhibits this behavior. Why? Because you allow it. Granted you don't like it when she does this, but she feels no serious repercussions from doing it because you always forgive her, therefore, she continues to do it.
When you are in a relationship there has to be boundaries and there has to be trust or else the relationship will falter, not flourish. Personally I find it difficult to trust her with her behaving the way she does with co-workers that crush on her. It may be a kiss today, but what happens later down the road when she goes a step further and ends up becoming intimate with someone? Will you still be forgiving her and blaming her behavior on the environment instead of her character flaws?
It's never easy to end a relationship, but as I see it you have given her more than enough chances to correct her behavior and it has only resulted in her continuing it. At some point you will have to come to realize that the problem does lie within her and you really should consider ending the relationship and seeking better options. Of course this is a decision that only you can make. Of course you can choose to continue to blame the guys at her job, but it does take two to tango and she is equally at fault for it and especially since she knows she's in a relationship with you she should be more vigilant in setting boundaries that wouldn't compromise it. What happens if she finds employment elsewhere and the behavior continues? Where will you place the blame then? Definitely something to think about if you choose to stay in this relationship with her.1