Do you think online dating is cheating?

I met my boyfriend randomly on the internet and it wasn't even a dating site and I wasn't even looking for a relationship. It just happened he's super cool and awesome, we have hung out countless times and over a long period of time and now we're together in a serious relationship. We didn't have any prior mutual friends and we are only 18 (me) and 19 (him). I didn't like any of the guys at my school and plus all those relationships have already been tested and proven stupid. I feel that in general it is easier to get into a relationship over the internet then knowing someone who's life is already crossed with yours in school or work or activities because they actually get to judge first real impressions. I haven't even told my friends that him and I met online because I am embarrassed. Do you think meeting people online is cheating on the "game" of finding relationships compared to people who don't meet people online?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I don't think meeting someone online is cheating in the game of finding a relationship. I feel like as long as your actually honest then its possible to meet a great person online. I believe I read one and 3 people meet online now. That's a lot. I'm glad you found someone you really like and don't be ashamed to tell anyone how you met. I bet in ten years people won't even flinch at that idea...we live busy lifes an sometimes the type of person you are looking for just isn't near u.I feel like when you meet online you xan really get to know a person for who they are first... I met the guy I really like on here and I didn't plan on it...it just happenend. I think people look at online dating with more caution because people can lie...but can't people lie in person as well? Just with any relationship make sure you two have been honest with each other and there are no surprises ..SO don't worry what others think if your happy with your boyfriend that is all that matters. I wish you the best of luck.

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What Guys Said 15

  • Its not cheating, its just different.

    Bonuses:

    1) Larger dating pool

    2) More likely to find someone in the same SIG

    3) Environmental circumstance less likely to play a role (you're the boss' daughter of a big company, or bullied and lied about, etc... i.e., represented unfairly to others)

    Drawbacks:

    1) Illusory effects. You can meet someone online and have a very strong connection to them, but after hanging out in real life a few times you realize they're different.

    2) If you met them far away, they will probably remain far away. You literally better be ready to move. You should plan on it or just break it.

    3) They seldom work out for some reason.

    4) Predators, "nice" people with dubious intentions.

    I think the drawbacks are greater than the bonuses.

    However in RL you can get a leg-up on the environmental bonus talked about above by moving to a new city or starting college with a completely different circle of people. Dump all your friends, go elsewhere, and make new friends with a clean slate. You can pickup some of the non-prejudice effects of the internet (although physical appearance will always be a caveat).

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  • Well everybody's idea of what cheating is is very different so cheating to some people may not be cheating to others.

    I'll give you an extreme example my friend has a girlfriend and they've been together for more than a year. She told him that her ex with whom they are still friends still wants to be with her and wants to sleep with her and my friend told her that since they used to sleep with each other before and if she wants to sleep with her ex he doesn't mind since why would he be jealous if they were already together. Granted this is a really extreme example but never the less just proves the point that cheating has different definitions.

    I meat my long term ex over the internet too she was a neighbor and wanted to go walk my dog with me so we started hanging out.

    Now I never had any problems with her chatting online or hanging out with guy friends since I would be a hypocrite if I tell her to stop chatting with people online and that it's wrong since that's where we meat.

    At the same time I would consider cheating if I or my girlfriend were to go out on a date and lead the person on to think that they are available for a relationship even though they already were in one or slept with another person who thought they were single.

    So if you found each other over the internet that's great I hope you guys are happy together.

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    • I'm not saying that I have a boyfriend and am meeting this other guy on the internet I met my guy on the internet

    • Like I said it depends on what the persons intersessions are with meeting people but as far as I'm concerned it wouldn't bother me. But only you can know what your intentions are.

      My ex once told me that she cheated on me and I told her so what should I do with this peace of info you have to leave with it not me. Turned out she was laying but still each person is responsible for their own actions so it comes down to intention.

  • No.

    Why does it matter where or how you met one another?

    I have never understood why some people act like it is a sin to post on the internet that they are single and are looking for the right match. My sister-in-law is in a great relationship with a guy she met online. We are all very happy for her. They would likely have never met otherwise. They frequent similar places, but not the same places. They work in similar fields; designers, but not the same field. He is a mechanical draftsman and a free-form artist that works with steel. She is a fashion designer. Both are talented people, but in totally different arenas. Great match.

    Your families will want the best for you two and REAL friends will be happy you found someone to love and that loves you.

    I wish you two the best.

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  • No. I think it's as fine as meeting someone in a bar. You do run a bit of a risk of being catfished, and some people substitute online relationships for real relationships. How you meet doesn't matter. How you interact does.

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    • Yeah we only live one hour from each other and see each other a lot. First time we hung out was at Six Flags it was funs :)

  • "All's fair in love and war."

    Think about that quote and get back to me.

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    • I like the quote I don't see why war is always fair though

  • I doubt that there is such a thing as cheating in that "game".

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  • Online Dating is not cheating, in my book, if your really single.

    It is on the other hand called cheating, if your already in a relationship with someone.

    Just saying!

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  • IN my own opinion, dating isn't a game, it's something you do if you feel it's right, it's not a contest. This is something that needs time, and meeting people online, is just the same as face to face, if both are honest, and show their soul to each other. it's how it worked for me and my bf.

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    • I know it's not a game

  • It's not cheating.

    Though we have something in common, I would find it embarrassing to tell people that we met online.

    Not as romantic as the stories you see in movies such as "Ted". Lol

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  • Dating is evolving. One day we won't even meet each other and have babies on the web. You're not cheating.

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  • Yes, because morality.

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  • No. Whatever works

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  • Well if you have that good trust of him that's good . But you don't know what he's doing during the day . You don't know if he's cheating on you or not . But if you guys see each other face-2-face then that shouldn't be a problem . And online relationship is good

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    • Yes we see each other about 2 to 3 times a month

    • Yeah , that's pretty good :) keep it up !

  • It's not cheating at all, unless you move beyond that online dating and meet with that person.

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  • It's really cheating because something will happen if you delve deeper into that "hobby".

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What Girls Said 19

  • I don't think online dating is cheating at the dating game. Yes, you wouldn't have met your boyfriend otherwise, but I feel that online dating sites are great resources for that very reason.

    I'm one of those people who just doesn't meet people in real life. I have many acquaintances, but very few friends. And I have only met one guy in my life that has ever turned into a boyfriend that I met offline.

    I go out, I do things, I have a very active and enriching life. I'm not someone who just camps inside all day on the computer. I shop, I work, I went to college. In all that time I never met one guy who was interested in me in real life situations.

    However, online I have been quite successful. I've had 2, now 3 relationships that blossomed online. I met the guys eventually in person, but I think that being online was very helpful.

    Otherwise I probably would only have had one very crappy first and only relationship.

    My problem is that I came from a small town. Any of the guys I ever met were either dating, have dated or liked (or were liked) by someone in my social circle. So it was impossible to date anyone without stepping on someone's toes.

    Plus I had a heck of a time finding guys who had similar interests as me.

    I certainly understand your hesitation in telling people you met your boyfriend online. There are still those out there who think it's ridiculous and embarrassing. But it's really not. Online dating is becoming more and more accepted, and understood.

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  • No, it's just the new 21st century way of doing it.

    I met my first (now ex) boyfriend online and I didn't mind it, however, I didn't tell anyone for a long time that I met him online and my parents still don't know like 4 years down the line aha. It just happened like yours did. It wasn't on a dating site, I just came across him. He only lived half an hour away so we got closer and went out.

    I kind of starting my second relationship online but he had mutual friends and he was my friend's ex! We spoke online for two weeks and then met up and got together!

    I met my current boyfriend in person and developed it all in person and I have to be honest, I found it much more exciting and romantic and I feel it could potentially make our relationship stronger.

    In my other relationships, I always wondered what it'd be like if we met and developed everything in person and I always fantasised about how romantic it would've been. So I think meeting people online takes away the romance and any of your first memories together. For example, my first memories of my boyfriend were all in person and so my memories are much more interesting, whereas with my other relationships, I would just remember on screen conversations which wasn't as romantic! I think online relationships kind of take away the fun of developing it all in person with someone new! :)

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    • But relationships are relationships and how they start isn't the most important thing!

  • Not at all. I understand there is still a bit of taboo associated with online dating, but it's so common now. If you don't want to tell anyone how you met, that's your decision, but it's definitely not cheating the "game". It's just a new way of meeting people.

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  • My cousin met with her ex-husband in real life, obviously they divorced, he turned out to be crazy obsessed maniac that beat her up and looked so innocent. Now she has a boyfriend who she met on Facebook (a friend of her friend she never met) and looks kinda like a bad person on pictures but he's actually a great person and he loves her 2 kids and her and he also has a child from his divorce, they are very happy and have been together for a year I think...I don't think it's cheating on the "system" if you met your love online as long as it doesn't stay online, cause some people actually consider it a relationship just chatting and e-mailing each other but never actually meet or met only one time...I also don't think that someone should look for this in the internet but if it happens by itself (like your case and my cousin's case) then it's as natural as if a stranger initiated a conversation in the shop with you and you started dating afterwards...

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    • Wait I'm about to check my question I thought I said me and him hung out in person countless of times

    • I got that...I was talking generally. You asked for yourself but it looked also like you mean generally if it's considered cheating...

  • Nah, I don't think so. It helps to get in touch with people, but like you said, you met up and hung out a lot of times. So basicly you got to know him in person, you just met him online.

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  • No it's not. Over decades people have made it so globalization, communication throughout the entire world, is easier. It doesn't matter how you get to know the other person; what matters is how you treat them. Although there is still a bit of a stigma when it comes to online dating, it's a perfectly good way to get to know other people, as long as you also get to know them in person (otherwise, investing in a relationship where you haven't met the other party is foolish and dangerous).

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  • Cheating the game? Come on girl... if internet dating helps you meet more available people, go for it. In love there are no rules unless your conquest is married with kids.

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  • Not at all. The internet is a fully integrated part of society now. Ten years ago it might have been a little strange but now it's a part of life.

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  • Who cares how you met. If people are going to be immature because you met your boyfriend online then their opinion does not matter. There is no cheating in the game of finding relationships, that is the weirdest concept that I have ever heard of to be honest.

    I can tell a lot of people did not even read your post since they think your question meant something else and I did too until I read it.

    I met my boyfriend on an online dating site and I don't care what anyone thinks about it, they are wrong. It's not like I can't meet guys the in real life but it takes so long, online sites cut out a lot of the hassle and time to meet someone attractive with a matching personality.

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  • There are several ways of meeting new people and one of them is via the internet. It's not cheating. I met my boyfriend on Facebook and we've been together for 4 years now. You never know when and where you are going to meet someone who is going to be a part of your life.

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    • Did you and your boyfriend have mutual friends prior to being in a relationship?

    • No, we didn't. He added me and we started chatting and since then we've never been able to stop. :) It's like we were made for each other kind of thing lol.

  • I don't think it's cheating. We have more busy life and more options to meet other people, why not use it ? The relationship stays the same after all ! It's just the first talk that changes.

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  • you should meet him in person adn se how it gose from there and you should tell your friends even if they think its weird its better that you told them

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    • Yes we have hung out together in real life countless of times. If I told my parents the truth of where we met we wouldn't be able to see each other again. If I told my friends then my parents are more likely to find out and my friends will be like /:) and that I lied to them.

  • Each to their own I say. It wouldn't be my way of meeting a guy but you say you are both happy so enjoy the ride! Live and let live. Who gives a sh*t of what douche bags think?

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  • Nah I don't think it is at all.

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  • no , I think it is normal

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  • Its not cheating to meet someone online and meet him in real life and start a relationship. That's cool (if its possible). I tried it and it didn't work. But- for you maybe it will. But it would be cheating if you are in a relationship and still try to find someone over the internet. And chat with other guys while going out with this guy...

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  • its not cheating just a different way of meeting people its pretty much the normal way of thing these day technology people have lost the art of conversations in other environments , but if your happy then I don't think its a problem

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  • There is absolutely no right or wrong way to meet someone. Life is too intricate for rules like that. Don't worry so much about what other people think and enjoy what you have.

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  • Of course it is

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