Technically you're doing nothing wrong if you date multiple people at once--but would you feel uncomfortable ?

Technically you're doing nothing wrong if you date multiple people at once, provided none are exclusive relationships, and you're not sleeping with more than one of them-- but would you feel uncomfortable doing so?

woul;d you feel uncomfortable dating someone you really like who is also casually dating others?

Updates:
Konnour:


Re: Would you feel special.


I'm asking you how _you_ would feel.


i would not care because if I'm going to be with someone, it should be because we want to be with each other, not because there's no choice.


that saud I doubt id feel like dating more than one person at a time. it is time consuming and the relationship loses a special quality of truly getting to know each other, imo. but hecan do as he likes--if its not gonna happen its not gonna happen. between us.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I agree, there is nothing wrong with dating multiple people and I pretty much agree with the standards you have listed above. I would simply like to add that, all of the men you are dating, have a right to know that they are not the only guy you are dating.

    So in principle, I think it's perfectly fine. However, I just have an extremely monogamous personality, I thrive commited to one person. I had every intention of 'dating around' a couple summers ago, the first guy I went on a date with, I told I did not want anything exclusive, that I wanted to date around. It didn't deter him and he pursued me.

    Guess what happened? I never went on another date with any other men after that, and 10 months later we were engaged. :) So my monogamous personality would not let me thrive dating multiple people, even though it's fine, it would have me seriously doubting my self worth, I would feel 'dirty'.

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    • I actually don't have interest in more than one person a time. I'm just wondering if its because I think the guy I really like would be hurt if I dated around. or if its just because I don't hold room for interest for more than one person. I end up feeling like its all fake and shallow. plus I'm very busy. one is too much already.

      anyways, I was just doing a bit of reflecting.

      i understand what you're saying.

      thanksfor answering.

      oh, if he was dating around wold it bother you. obviously not now, but then?

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    • i don't hink it has to do with men vs women because dating around is easy for anyone if you don't really care.

      I like a particular person, and don't want to hurt him by seeing other people. in the past I also was concerned with hurting the gus and I don't care too much about dating so I wasn't anxious to date around.

      compartmentalizing is an innate human ability strengthened through repeated practice. just like analyzing. synthesizing. empathizing reasoning. not a sex based trait.

    • That may be, but men are born being better at certain things just like women are born with strengths (MEN: compartmentalizing, muscle strength WOMEN: multitasking, finger dexterity). Sure you can practice and become better, but you are STILL born with certain strengths. Much more likely for a man to be OK with sleeping around, than it would b for a woman, so it makes sense it would be that way for dating multiple people too.

What Guys Said 3

  • When you're an option you lose value. Of course - obviously it is "better" in a selfish way to date multiple people at once, but it feels terrible to the other side, unless they also do the same.

    There is no magic in it, it turns dating into a conveyer - mindless machine seeking to reach the end product.

    Let's pretend you become really serious with someone to who you were merely an option some time ago, someone who was dating more than one at a time - how would you feel? Would you feel special? Would you feel valued? Would you feel secure?

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    • I disagree. You can date more than one person and still find magic. And if someone was dating more than one person and they decided they wanted to be exclusive with me then I'd certainly feel special, valued, and secure because I'd already know he likes me better than the rest :)

  • I am just gonna say this:

    --> We are not at the supermarket.

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  • I wouldn't feel uncomfortable in either case.

    In the second example, if I was beginning to feel weird, I'd ask about dating exclusively. I just wouldn't let things fester.

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What Girls Said 3

  • yes, if I were dating someone I really like. I would eventually give him the ultimatum... saying, I really like you, I want to be exclusive... if he said no, then I would break it off. knowing I really like him, I couldn't be comfortable dating him knowing he's dating multiple women.

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    • Do you dare more than one person at a time, if its casual?

    • sure,.. ill date around if I'm not sure who I like... but if I'm head over heels for a guy, id hope he felt the same about me.

    • thanks for answering.

  • I wouldn't feel bad as long as nobody has the impression that we're exclusive. As long as you're honest about everything, there's no reason to feel uncomfortable.

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    • In response to your update, how does dating more than one person get in the way of getting to know them? You're just getting to know more than one person at the same time.

  • I think it really depends on the two people involved. As long as you both feel the same way, and agree to stop seeing other people once you two decide to be in a relationship or you see things getting more serious, then all is good. But then you would have to ensure that communication between you two is great.

    I can certainly see how it would hurt to know a guy you were falling for was still seeing other girls. I would feel a tad jealous, and a bit nervous too. Because what if he chooses one of the other girls?

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