Is it customary in the US to order for your date?

Just recently moved here from Sweden. I've been out with this guy, nice restaurant, but when the waiter came he ordered from himself and then for me.

I mean I told him what I wanted before so it wasn't a big deal and I didn't say anything. But I thought it was a bit weird. He also insisted on paying the whole bill, that's not really common in Sweden either, but he has the money, so I figured that's fine too


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Paying is common on a first date.

    Ordering for a woman is a very traditional move. My grandfather might have ordered for a woman on a date without asking what she wanted. That's not really done now. My wife likes it when I order for her, but she would have told me what she wanted.

    Given you told him, he was probably just trying to be chivalrous.

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What Guys Said 2

  • It's always customary in the US for guys to pay for everything.

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  • Me order for her? No. Women in the United States are control freaks, so if anything it would be the opposite. Oh and then we're paying for it afterward of course.

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What Girls Said 1

  • It's not very common to order for your date, unless you've been talking about what to order and asked for his suggestions. It's increasingly common for women to be responsible for her half of the bill. Though, when a guy asks and it's not a mutual agreement type of thing (As in, he wanted to date her and asked her out rather than two people have been flirting a long time and hanging out together and then start dating ... it makes sense that person who is pursuing and making the decisions pays).

    In this case, your date sounds like he may be displaying dominance. He may not always act that way -- it seems like the more prestigious the social setting, the more some guys will assert their dominance. He may not have meant it in a "I'll think for my woman" way, but in a "I know my way around this restaurant and want to take care of her way." Or he may just be a dominant guy. Regardless, his personality will emerge if you keep dating him slow and steady.

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    • Also, he may have thought that you wouldn't really know what the dishes were, being that you just moved from Sweden and was trying to be helpful.

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