Would anyone date a 21 year old guy with a tragic life story?

I've never had a girlfriend (I briefly went on one date but it never worked out). To make a long story short, my life has been a total tragedy. I grew up in complete poverty, homeless for part of the time. However, I've been blessed with an IQ of around 170 (been tested) and was able to attend a top college on scholarship. The problem is that I am so poor, I am unable to do almost anything fun and girls find my family situation bizzare. I'm estranged from my mother and much of my family has had drug/alcohol issue. I'm athletic and normal in every other way. However, when girls get to know me they get creeped out by my background and don't think I will every amount to anything because I grew up so poor. Yeah I may be smart but I'm still a college student and I haven't had the chance to use my intelligence so it doesn't really help. After college, I hope to work in stock trading not because I want to make money but because I'm good at it. I trade virtual money and regularly make 30%+ returns per year without trying. My professors tell me I'm one of the best tape readers (predicting stock price movements based on prior prices) they've seen. However, even if I become wealthy I don't believe any girl will ever want to date a guy that has had my background.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • There are many facets to your story. One question I have is, if you are mathematically or "stock savy" with an IQ of 170 why haven't you come up with ways to make money..ANY type of job is a JOB and a respectable girl who appreciates hard working men, would appreciate you holding down ANY job.

    Secondly, it is very scary to meet men with tore up family life. I've had a strong supportive family all my life (I'm 37) and my boyfriend who is nearly 10 years younger than me has had JUST THE Opposite. By the grace of god he turned out to be a laid back, sensative, funny, patient man.

    NOBODY comes from a perfect family. But some people get trapped mentally in it. My guess is if you prove yourself to be a stand up guy - it shouldn't matter what your 'past' was like. The Past is a learning lesson, as long as you learned a way to have a positive future or a positive outlook on life - then you'll be fine.

    Being Poor has nothing to do with YOUR CAPABILITIES...be sure to let these girls know that. Many people grew up with little that have made a name for themselves if they are driven. You are smart and therefore everyone (girlfriends, teachers, friends) will have this 'expectation' of you even if they don't admit it. Make sure you have expectations for yourself - and goals - then you can prove to be the kind of man you want to be and most women (the right ones will see that in your soul.

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What Girls Said 3

  • i would. you did so well with so little. that's admirable

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  • Hey guess what? When you go on a date, you don't have to tell someone your whole life story. Everyone has baggage, and I mean EVERYONE. You don't tell someone all of your dirt on the first date. Dirt nuggets need to be dropped one by one, at appropriate times, ONCE you two have gotten to know each other and developed a mutual attraction. You sound like a great person and anyone will tell you that where you are going is more important than where you have been, if they say otherwise, they are not worth your time anyway. Loving someone means accepting them for who they are (which includes where they have come from) and wanting to be with them despite those less than desirable traits. So what you are really asking is, are you lovable? Yes, you are.

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    • Oh yea, and when it DOES come up, you can't play the victim . . . trying to make someone feel bad for your situation will turn anyone off. You should talk about it with confidence because you were able to overcome your trials. :)

  • Well that background/ past has shaped you into the person you are now. So instead of focusing on what happened, I personally see that your background can shape you into a better person. Everyone's past isn't all rose petals and those girls should understand that. Personally my background isn't all that great either but it has helped me move on a grow stronger. Your story makes me admire you. Yeah your background is rough but personally that made you stronger and look where you are now. An intelligent college student who wants to make something of himself rather than follow some of your family memebers steps. I'm sure you'll find that girl for you and shell love you for you not because of your background.

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What Guys Said 5

  • No one ever needs to roll out the whole nine yards on their life story from the get go.

    Girls dig smart guys. Be smart and be circumspect. The past will always be there but the measure of your strength is in who you are and how you have conquered the demons.

    Just be you. Be cool. Be whatever you are going to be and do it well. Your success will rub off on everyone around you- not because you'll have money and things- but because you are focused and hard working and smart... and also very likely a really hip and together guy, because this is what adversity can do. Surpass and overcome it.

    Your background (being behind you) starts NOW. Have no fear. There will be girls... lots of them, I predict... if that's what you want.

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  • Bro, you're a smart Man. You've probably realized that your problem is not your background; your problem is YOU.

    " I don't believe any girl will ever want to date a guy that has had my background."



    This... you don't believe. OK smart dude, what is your evidence to support your believe? Have you read about those stories about inmates who fcuk the hell out of female jail guards (I mean, who on Earth can possibly think of women looking after dangerous criminals!) Those Men have sihtier backgrounds than you and they score psusy like champs.

    OK, you can probably say that you go on dates regularly, the girls like you back and stuff, but right after you tell them the story of you they run for the hills. Your solution? Keep your mouth shut. You don't have to be an open book to get girls. And even if you disclose your little secret, it's not the secret itself but the way you are perceived. If the girl notices that, for you, your past is like a demon that you'll never let go, she'll logically reject you. Girls don't date Men because our own selves, they date Us because of the way We make them feel. It's a perception game, it's marketing, it's deception.

    Be mysterious, bro, be vague about your past because that will increase your girls' interest in you.

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  • The issue is not your background. The issue is how you're letting your background affect who you are. You clearly feel ashamed of your past, but why should you? You have overcome some tremendous obstacles to reach the point where you are today; shouldn't you be proud of that? Everybody has a story; the difference is in how you choose to spin it.

    Bottom line, the past is in the past, where it belongs. The real questions to be answered are who you are now and who you want to be in the future.

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  • unfortuneately and lucky for girls, only girls are allowed to have a victim mentality, but guys are not

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  • It's not your tragic life story that's stopping you from getting girls. It's your insecurity.

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