Got to second base, she never called me again. Looking for a girls input.

I have known this particular girl for 3 years. We were just friends but we went to different colleges and then about 3 months ago she called me and said she was moving to my hometown to take some classes at my college. I was exited, I've always liked her, we have a lot in common were outgoing, can have fun anywhere, both have younger sister, and we even have the same breed of dog. I took her to a drive in movie theater (yes we still have some of those in rural Texas) and towards the end we started kissing and feeling each other a little but we stopped before it got too serious. I wanted to take it kinda slow, I told her about the past 3 relationships I had, the girls I was dating used me to cheat on their boyfriends. So leading up to this on the first 2 dates I told her about my past relationships and also that I'm joining the military in less that a year. After the 3rd date she started making all those typical excuses "shes busy" and things like that and I have not seen or heard from her since then despite an effort on my part to set up another date. Am I damaged goods? Did she not want to get involved with someone who is going to be serving overseas soon? Looking for a womans input.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Do you know about her past? Has she been hurt before? If so, you telling her that you are going overseas might be why she is backing off - if she's been hurt before then she KNOWS you will eventually hurt her so she is keeping her guard up and not getting to close to you hence making excuses that she is 'busy.'

    I once had a male friend that I liked...I had been very hurt in the past so when my male friend told me that he liked me and that he would be moving away to LA in the future...I started to back wasen't that I wasen't interested...I just wanted to avoid getting hurt in the future because it sucks MAJORLY.

    Answer mine please?

    • Thanks to everyone who answered, I understand what Anon was saying by spilling my guts. Probably should not have done that, but its been a while since I've been in the dating game so at best I'm a little rusty. The only reason I felt comfortable about saying that is because she told me a little about her past couple relationships and they ended badly with her also being cheated on. That does make sense that she would not want to get close because I'm going overseas soon, I wouldn't want to I guess.


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What Girls Said 1

  • you shouldn't have gutted yourself the first night it was too much to tell her all about your relationship problems with other women and how you're all messed up from it. women just don't wanna hear that right out of the box how screwed up you are emotionally. they want a strong secure guy who they can feel safe with that doesn't mean that later on you can't say "I don't like it when you do x because x did that and it makes me feel insecure" but to put it bluntly...dont be the girl in the relationship. Remain reserved at least in the beginning.


What Guys Said 1

  • You're still not damaged. It seems that she still want to get to know you better and have some time to think through things.