I have not dated for a while and the online world is new to me. Is this guy's behavior way over the top?

I met a guy from a dating site a few days ago. Nice enough, attractive enough and all the rest. He said he was attracted to me. I have no trouble finding men who want to sleep with me.

He's been texting and phoning but has not made a firm date with me. Just a coffee meeting the other day.

Today he asked me to send him photos of myself in my underwear. I was not impressed and he basically insulted me, saying I am not dynamic, because I said "what happened to romance". I am an older person but look twenty years younger than I am and in very good nick. OK. I'll say it. I am considered pretty hot. Still. I think this sort of approach is inappropriate but am I behind the times?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • The Internet's only differences from real life are that it's easier to connect with a lot more men, and that those men often have confidence to be very direct over the 'net that they'd never have in real life.

    The result is that men often think they can jump directly into sex (or sexual stuff) without having to make the kind of effort that normal relationships take. And part of the reason for this is that they are occasionally right, because there ARE some women out there who WILL "meet" a guy online and within a day or two, be sending him nude pics, or even meeting him or sex.

    That may only be one girl out of 100 (or 200 or 500), but the Internet makes it easy and cheap for guys to sit at home and hit on 100 girls, looking for that one who gives it up quick and easy. It's even worse with younger guys, because few of them are old enough to have much real-world experience with normal relationships, so being an Internet horndog is all they know.

    YOUR job when it comes to Internet dating is to FILTER OUT guys. You need to expect a TON of guys to contact you who are only interested in sex. You need to assume and expect that to happen, and not feel bad about dismissing them, and concentrating your efforts on the exceptions: those few guys who want something real. Learn not to get too attached to a guy until you've met him a few times and he treats you like a person. Be wary but optimistic.

    Once you have that mindset, Internet dating, and even real-world dating, will be much easier.

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What Guys Said 2

  • I think it depends on you. There is no rule. Personally I wouldn't ask a girl to do that.

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  • You're not behind times.

    He definitely insulted you since it's quite clear that he only wants you in bed.

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What Girls Said 4

  • I agree with u...that's a big red flag

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  • Interesting. He is not interested in a relationship. Move on.

    I am in my late 30s looks good. I met one online. I worry he is not contacting me like he way your guy is. But at then end your guy wants make it pict.

    The guy is not contacting me between date however we have been out on dates so go figures.

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  • Yes it's a little odd I get asked that same question some times. Just remember the internet is for ever.

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  • Thats a big red flag. Anyone who hasn't even met someone in person yet and is asking them to send them half naked pics is not looking for any kind of long lasting relationship, if that is your goal.

    But if you're just looking for a good time then I'm sure this guy would be down with that. Another word of advice is, I've been on online dating sites. ANd there's a good possiblility that he's just looking for online fun and not even wanting to meet in person. Its possible that you could send him a pic and he just uses it to get off with. I've had that done before.

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    • I know. And guess what. He tried asking again after he'd insulted me and I told him to go.

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