The "I'm too busy" excuse

The guy I've been dating (no committed relationship yet, just dating for past three months) and I have not seen each other in almost three weeks. Usually we make plans to hang out once or twice a week. This past weekend we were supposed to see each other. But, in the week leading up to it he hasn't texted/called at all to solidify plans. He still replies when I initiate texts, but otherwise, nothing. It's not normal for him to do that, as he's a social butterfly and almost always touches base with me once or twice a day.

Then, what really made me mad was when he canceled plans via text a day before they were going to happen. He said he was just busy and that he had some family issues, etc. and that he was sorry. I played it cool, but mentioned that if he didn't want to hang out all he had to do was say so, and also to make sure he told me in advance next time. I'm busy, I've a life too, and it was inconsiderate of him.

Well, he still hasn't texted me in the past three days, and this isn't like him. Usually he at least says hello, even if he's busy, so I'm wondering if he's pulling back for some reason...which would suck, 'cause I'm not the clingy type at all. In fact, I let him have his space to do his family thing or w/e, but he still hasn't contacted me, even though things seemed to go so well between us. Right now, I'm not contacting him at all; I'm gonna let him come to me, but it's frustrating.

Guys, have you ever done this to a girl, and why would you blow her off like this? Is the "busy" excuse legit? Is he losing interest, or should I just continue to be patient and see what happens?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • It does sound like he's pulling back. He's not contacting you much, you haven't seen each other in three weeks, and he's cancelled plans on you. The latter I'd cut a guy some slack on if that's the first time he did it, but it seems like he was disinterested even before the date was planned, and lukewarm about planning the one that was supposed to happen. If he really wants to see you he'd make the time and effort. And a couple texts or a call are easy enough to send/make; no one's that busy.

    You may have sealed the deal though by saying "if he didn't want to hang out all he had to do was say so", because hearing that it kind of sounds like you're not that interested either, and maybe wouldn't mind if you guys broke it off. It also sends the message that you think he was making excuses to get out of hanging out (and whether or not his excuse was legit, I don't know). So, I think unless you want to rekindle it somehow, it's going to end. Even if he is busy, I don't know if you want to be with someone who's so busy you won't see him for three weeks, apart from him traveling or something.

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What Guys Said 2

  • I've never done this, but if some1 goes cold in the txting world, that is a bad sign (a girl did it to me). He may be losing interest. Wait a few weeks, and if he's still cold ask him if he's mad @ u.

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    • Yeah I'm a bit worried, especially since everything seemed great beforehand...seems way out of the blue...I'd rather that he just be up front about it.

  • It's really clear that he's playing with you. You should just find a new guy now.

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What Girls Said 0

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