What is your opinion on dating someone with emotional baggage?

I read somewhere that psycho boy/girlfriends tend to be people who have had awful family lives or really bad emotional baggage. I don't really agree, but what is everyone else's opinion on dating someone with emotional baggage?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I agree and never again! Weirdly enough, the few girls I've dated recently have some pretty intense baggage or crappy family lives. I can't seem to get away from these folks...YEESH.

    Those girls are really messed up. I try to sympathize/help them (since I grew up without a father in my life) but there comes a point(s) where you get dragged into their problems. The problem is that they can never let go of the past (whether its abuse from family, ex's) so it's like..deep psychological scars and it manifests in many weird ways. The really manipulative shrews will use it against you to guilt trip or manipulate you. If you encounter those...you run for the hills and don't look back!

    Kudos to the ones that realize the issues and worked hard to get over it! You deserve a medal because I know it's not tough and it'll impact every relationship negatively if handled the wrong way. It's essentially a vicious circle...

    Why can't I find a normal girl? Seriously, I'll settle for a daddy's girl (if that is any better...) lolol!

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What Guys Said 7

  • Two trains of thought come to mind.

    1) Avoid it, it will only cause you problems.

    2) Embrace it, love them, and if you can help fix them, they'll look at you as an amazing person.

    I've experienced both. My ex has major issues, and she caused me nothing but problems while we were dating, and they continued to last after we broke up. It was horrific, and I told myself never again.

    Then I met my current girlfriend. She didn't have the same issues, but she certainly had some and she still has some. She might always have some. However, things are going great, and she's even told some people I saved her and am making all her life dreams come true.

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  • Depends on the emotional baggage.

    I try to be positive and optimistic because I believe in trying to understand people, If its something like getting her heart broken by an Ex who cheated on her or who disrespected her, that's not much of an issue to me.

    If she was like rapped or witnessed something traumatizing where she would need therapy for, I would try to support her as much as I can as her boyfriend.

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  • Someone with major baggage is more likely to cause fights over petty things, and/or be unfaithful to you.

    Both are bad; the risk isn't worth taking unless I really genuinely have known the girl for a long time beforehand, and even that is questionable.

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  • It depends on what kind of emotional baggage we are talking about.

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  • History actually seems to repeat itself much but not all of the time. Sometimes baggage can be attributed to genetics also. I think there is a mix of how you are raised and genes when it comes to someone being a bit nutty and unmanageable with relationships. I try to stay away from them as people truly rarely change their stripes. Good question funny girl.

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  • Major red flag.

    Why would you put yourself through that?

    You are asking for a world of hurt.

    From my own experience, the females who have entered into such relationships have built their relationships on sex and those types of relationships always end up hurting the female.

    Probably a self-esteem issue and their own emotional baggage issues.

    You cannot fix other people. Girls need to get that idea out of their head. You don't know how many countless times I have heard that. "I can fix him" or "I can change him". No, you cannot. You will end up getting hurt.

    Anyways, you would have to be INSANE to try and date someone with those types of issues because you are simply setting yourself up for failure.

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  • I don't really like dating someone with those baggage. I don't want to involve my life into too much dramas.

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What Girls Said 2

  • be your self not make him feel like you sympathy about his life you will make him feel not powerful guy just make him feel like he is the one and he is strong to been through a lot and deserve better

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  • They need to get their sh*t together and work out their emotional baggage before they start dating.

    People with emotional baggage are frustrating and often annoying to deal with. They tend to make issues out of things that shouldn't be issues. I'm not effing Dr. Phil lol, I don't enjoy fixing people. I don't want to spend my valuable time alive dealing with this complex person who won't work out their issues. I'm sorry, because I know this is brutally honest, but quite frankly; it's a pain in the ass. If you have emotional baggage, then you need to work your sh*t out and not bring that mess to someone else.

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    • I tend to be quite the opposite and am like a Dr. Phil lol :P But I actually really like your answer because it's honest. Some emotional baggage really does get to become a pain in the ass.

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