How do I tell him I want him to text me more?

My ex and I are rekindling things again and we are kinda just starting out after 3 months of not talking or seeing each other.

I know he can be a bit emotionally reserved and won't just go for something if he thinks he might get rejected or he doesn't want to be pushy.

We saw each other for the first time on Sunday, and it went well- we made out, talked a lot but didn't broach the subject of what we wanted to do.

Anyways, I feel like a reason for him not texting me could be that he is unsure of what it is that I really want from him and I am considering just telling him that yes, I DO want to hear from him more and all that. I intend on having "the talk" sooner rather than later just fyi.

Basically, is there a clever or humorous way I can tell him that I do want to hear from him more- kinda giving him the go ahead.

I'm considering "hey, just so you know, you're totally allowed to text me anytime you want now :p"


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Communication is key to anything in life especially relationships. You should start talking more and ask each other a couple things you would like from the significant other to do more or less of from time to time. maybe once a month maybe twice a month or how ever often until things are good

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What Guys Said 7

  • This is going to back fire and make you look needy. I actually partially broke up with a girl because of this. She was always complaining I didn't text her enough.

    The reality is most guys don't' like texting, and further more they don't like communicating (which is why they don't like to text). Trust me, behind closed doors, guys are gossiping about how much it annoys them when their Girlfriend is texting them 24/7.

    The reason is quite simple. Endorphins are a hormone that gets released into the body upon certain activities with our partner. These hormones make us feel good and form the bond to our partner. Sex is one obvious thing that does this to people, which is why sex makes people grow attached to each other. There are some gender specific things that also trigger this.

    For women, communication releases endorphins. When a girl is having a conversation with her BF, endorphines are being released making her feel good and increasing the bond towards her partner. This is also why girls love to talk and text with their friends all the time. It's how they bond. This is why its always girl who always want to text or talk to their BF's on the phone.

    For men, the equivalent is physical touch and proximity. Guys like to do things like sit near you, hold your hand, cuddle, have sex, have you sit on their lap, etc. This is is how we bond and its what makes us feel good because it releases the endorphins into our system. That's why a guy can just sit there watching TV but be happy as long as they are cuddling with you.

    Because men and women differ greatly in this regard, its one of those areas were compromise needs to ideally happen. If the girl expects the guy to text her every hour on the hour, its going to be a problem and the guy is going to get annoyed. If the guy only wants to text her once a week, then just as much, he going to find his Girlfriend getting very annoyed and loosing attraction. Especially since you guys aren't technically dating right now, you don't have much of a leg to stand on in terms of making him feel obligated to text you. The reality is most guys will be OK with carrying on a conversation via text here and there as long as its not excessive, they just are less likely to initiate. So if you want to talk, your just going to have to be the one to pick up the phone most of the time because most guys don't like it enough to do it willingly.

    One final side note to take into account as well, that I know holds true for me and some other guys, is that I also prefer not to text much because then I feel we have nothing to talk about in person. When we're constantly talking and giving each other a play by play of our lives, by the time we sit down and talk in person, there is nothing left to say because we've been discussing things all along the way via text.

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    • The thing is, when we dated before, he would text me nearly every morning, and would text me throughout the day and was really quite talkative.

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    • yeah so by the way, when guys say they don't like to cuddle, there just saying that so they look manly around their friends. Guys typically like to cuddle more than girls for this reason. .

    • Lol I know THAT by experience! This guy is a big cuddler. Super into it haha.

  • "PLS TXT+

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  • Set up an meeting with him in person and try to clear things by reasonably communicating of your whole idea of this new start with him. That should do, if you think his hesitation is due to ambiguity. Just remove the ambiguity.

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    • This is what I am really thinking on too. Get in person, bring up that I do want to be with him again and that may sort it all out.

  • Be like "HEY HEY, YOU YOU, I WANT YOU TO TEXT ME MORE. BYE" and delete his number.

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  • i don't think you should say that. you can't force anyone to do something that wont. just keep texting him first. answer mine please

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  • love how people go for ex's...pitiful

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  • Well, that line will actually work. It will give him some laugh and perhaps, encourage him to text you more.

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What Girls Said 2

  • I hate texting really. If he is anything like me, maybe you shouldn't.

    But if you think he is not.

    Just write: "I really like texting you. You are sort of a break from the rest of the world. =)"

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  • Why not just text him more yourself?

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    • I do text him quite a bit actually. Not all the time or all day or any of that. But he hasn't been initiating it.

    • I never understand the obsession with text initiations. If he's not ignoring you, you're fine. Who cares who starts it, you know?

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