Have you ever been in a situation where one person can't choose you or ex?

I've been dating this guy a little over 4 months now. We've talked almost everyday since we've met and he drives 45 minutes at least 3 times per week to see me. He's introduced me to his friends, we go out in public places, and he's met my friends. The problem is about a month or so ago, his ex popped back up and he told me he has feelings for us both and it was hard for him to choose. I've tried leaving and he told me I deserve better. I agree. But I feel so stupid because I can't get him out of my system. Usually, I'm so strong and would never put up with such foolery. As much as I know better and logic tells me that if he can't choose, I should disappear, I have no idea what the hell this strong hold is...it is so embarrassing and out of character for me. Has anyone ever been in a situation where they know they should leave, but can't? btw...besides the ex, he's respectful, open doors, pull car around when raining, takes initiative like when my tire was low, he fixed it without my asking...i just don't understand...I am also continuing to date as I'm not going to put my life on hold for a what if...but as great as some of the guys are that I meet, I still can't get indecisive ass of my brain. so frustrating!


0|0
3|2

Most Helpful Girl

  • I haven't been in that same situation, but my bf's ex did interfere when we were already together and they too had been away fro 2 years. Like you, I was also very reluctant to leave and everyone told me they were surprised I could be so softhearted if I always appeared so tough and independent.

    My theory is that I wanted to convince myself that I was the better choice, even when my boyfriend never really said he was confused or had feelings for her... I just wanted to be the evident best choice and I took it as a competition. This was probably more about my ego than about the relationship. Yes, I wanted him badly, but I wanted to obscure this girl's presence more.

    If I was in your position, I would leave. It turns me off having to be waiting for someone's decision, for I will doubt their feelings in the future. As I see it, he will go back to his ex. It's not that you deserve better than him, you just deserve to be the only one.

    0|0
    0|0
    • You're so right. This is exactly what I was doing. I saw it as a challenge and I'm very competitive by nature. In comparison, I thought there is no way he'd go back to her. I woke the freak up a few days after making this post, though. I'm by far desperate and was giving him the perception what he was doing or considering doing is something I'd accept. It hurt and I still think about him. He continues to try to persuade me but I deserve better--a guy who only has a desire for me.

What Guys Said 2

  • No. As I am off like a pike from the shallows when I notice such problem.

    0|0
    0|0
    • Thanks! I did leave. I guess I lost my mind...thank goodness it was only briefly. :)

  • You should just leave. He will most likely go back to his ex.

    0|0
    0|0

What Girls Said 2

  • Sounds like a great guy but if he can't politely tell his ex he is in a committed relationship then he is not respecting you and your 4 month relationship. If someone can pop up and interfere now it will happen again he needs to stand up for your relationship and grow some balls. There was a reason they parted ways and he needs to stick to you if you are the rebound girl you need to walk away unfortunately.

    0|0
    0|0
    • I competely agree. What pisses me off is that when we first started talking, I asked how long it had been since his last relationship because I didn't want to be anyon's rebound. He stated it had been almost 2 years. His ex was away at college and apparantly has finished and came back. the long distance is why they broke up. Guess I better fill my calendar with dates. I didn't sign up to be on a reality show of women competing against one guy. thanks for advice!

  • Nope

    0|0
    0|0
Loading...