I've been dating this guy a little over 4 months now. We've talked almost everyday since we've met and he drives 45 minutes at least 3 times per week to see me. He's introduced me to his friends, we go out in public places, and he's met my friends. The problem is about a month or so ago, his ex popped back up and he told me he has feelings for us both and it was hard for him to choose. I've tried leaving and he told me I deserve better. I agree. But I feel so stupid because I can't get him out of my system. Usually, I'm so strong and would never put up with such foolery. As much as I know better and logic tells me that if he can't choose, I should disappear, I have no idea what the hell this strong hold is...it is so embarrassing and out of character for me. Has anyone ever been in a situation where they know they should leave, but can't? btw...besides the ex, he's respectful, open doors, pull car around when raining, takes initiative like when my tire was low, he fixed it without my asking...i just don't understand...I am also continuing to date as I'm not going to put my life on hold for a what if...but as great as some of the guys are that I meet, I still can't get indecisive ass of my brain. so frustrating!
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I haven't been in that same situation, but my bf's ex did interfere when we were already together and they too had been away fro 2 years. Like you, I was also very reluctant to leave and everyone told me they were surprised I could be so softhearted if I always appeared so tough and independent.
My theory is that I wanted to convince myself that I was the better choice, even when my boyfriend never really said he was confused or had feelings for her... I just wanted to be the evident best choice and I took it as a competition. This was probably more about my ego than about the relationship. Yes, I wanted him badly, but I wanted to obscure this girl's presence more.
If I was in your position, I would leave. It turns me off having to be waiting for someone's decision, for I will doubt their feelings in the future. As I see it, he will go back to his ex. It's not that you deserve better than him, you just deserve to be the only one.0