Only interested in what I can't have.

So in the 3 and half years since splitting with my ex of one year I've genuinely being interested in about 2 girls and of these 2 things didn't work out. What I mean by 'genuinely' is that from the start I knew I was willing to make the effort to commit to a relationship and there was never any doubt in my mind as to whether or not I could see myself being with them in the long term.

There's being many more girls whose numbers I've gotten, I'm attracted to them but I wonder if it was just lust (i.e just wanting to have sex with them) rather than genuine interest as I play back and forth in my mind whether I could go out with them.

Anyway we text back and forth for awhile but I always just either tone the messaging down and give off that I'm not interested or in a worse case scenario I just stop texting back. But when I usually end up seeing them at the club I work in I'm all friendly and great with them and this just makes them cling onto hope sometimes and its just a repeat till they end up meeting someone else or hating me.

I'm not going to defend my actions, I'm a horrible person I know and I'm sure I deserve this predicament I'm in but plenty women have done it to me in the past so I know how it feels, I'm not unsympathetic to what I put these girls through, however in my defense I haven't slept with any of these girls or even gone out on dates with them so I haven't strung them too much along.

Yet if one of these girls moves on (which I usually see through Facebook) it cuts me deep and makes me feel anger, in general and towards them, and jealousy but I have no reason to feel these least of all anger at the girl as it was my choice and actions that lead to this, they have done nothing wrong.

Why do I only become interested in these girls when I can't have them ? Or am I answering my own question there ?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Yep. You're a jerk. You won't let anyone in. You might dump them, yes, they get hurt, but they get over it quickly enough and move on. You end up alone. You should change your attitude. You will never be happy if you dont. I knew a guy like you.. always flirting with girls, but never being serious with one. I don't know whatever happened to him... but I'm quite happy I didn't waste too much time holding on to "hope".. instead I moved on to the next one. And I'm happy.

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    • Your only error was "You won't let anyone in" I mentioned 2 girls at the top, there's been more I would commit too but I never approached them so they don't factor in.

      And I'm certainly not always flirting, most approach me, sure I should say no from the start but I'm not your 'player' guy, sure I might not commit to these girls, I might mess them around abit, but I don't take them out on dates, I haven't slept with any of them and I'm only ever texting one girl at a time.

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    • But ultimatley that wouldn't change your answer, I'm on my phone I meant to delete that not send it. Look my goal isn't to hurt people but at the same time my goal isn't to be forever alone, I might not be doing agreat job right now but I need to try and its part of dating to meet people text and decide from there whether to take things futher no ? I just can't get why my head decides it wants to feel emotion for these girls after I've thrown my chance away not when I have that chance.

    • I'm on. Phone too. I've submitted this like 3 times:

      Maybe you just regret not taking a chance on the girl. Life is about taking chances , after all. Maybe it's not jealousy you feel, maybe it's anger towards yourself.

What Girls Said 0

The only opinion from girls was selected the Most Helpful Opinion!

What Guys Said 2

  • the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. Just be upfront with the girls you're not planning on staying with long-term and all is good.

    You're in your prime right now, take advantage of it.

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  • That's because you love the game of chase.

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