Best way to apologize to a guy?

I'm trying to figure out the best way to apologize to my long distance boyfriend. We met up out of town two weekends ago. Things didn't go as planned. He did some things I didn't like and I completely melted down and lost it. The end result was texted him and told him not to contact me again. What he did was wrong but the response did not match the actions. I completely overreacted.

Couple days later, I sent an apology by text. Figured we need a few more days to cool down. In the text I told him that I was sorry, that I didn't mean what I said and that I would call him soon to talk.. A couple of days has passed and I'm about to call. Wondering how the call. Should I just apologize and bring up the incident? Should I just ask how he's doing and try not to focus on the incident? I want to restablish contact but I'm just not sure how to handle things.

Help me please! :)

  • General conversation - don't bring up the incident unless he does.
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  • Apologize and try not to focus on the incident in the convo.
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  • Apologize and try to explain what happenned in detail.
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  • Other
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And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Girl

  • First, don't say it until you mean it. Nobody likes a fake apology. Second, make sure you're open to conversation, but don't explain if they don't want you to. It might make you feel better if you talk it out, but it might not make them feel better and the person who is getting apologized to gets the say on whether or not you talk about it or just forget it and move on.

    After apologizing sincerely, I usually say something along the lines of, "I know you might not want to talk about it, but if you do then I promise to listen to everything you have to say and answer all of your questions openly and honestly." It sounds cheesy and it might not work but sometimes it's the thing that they have to hear in order to feel comfortable talking about how they feel.

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What Guys Said 5

  • Call him. Start with small talk, get comfortable/build rapport (I think that's how you spell it?), and then move into "Hey, listen, I'm very sorry." Hearing the emotion in your voice will show courage, humility, and sincerity.

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  • Details are not as important in apologies are understanding. In this case, you are more in the wrong than he is. You can not fight fire with fire and expect to win, and your fire was burning much hotter than his. I would actually avoid going over too many details on why you did what you did. Instead you should concentrate on why what you did was wrong, why you understand it was wrong, and why you wish you had not done it. Let him make his own apology about what he did. Do not coax it out of him. His apology will be that much more genuine and meaningful if you let him make it himself.

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  • Best way: ACTUALLY f***ing mean it, this requires change and is hard to do.

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  • Apologize, true apology, and try to explain what happened. Though depends on the guy, he might just prefer the apology and to let it go.

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  • Just say you're sorry, and ask if you can move on from it. The worst thing is when a girl apologizes and tries to justify what she did. Accept you're wrong, and move on.

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What Girls Said 4

  • apologize and also ask for his input in the matter, given that he has had time to think about it. Since he did something bad and you accept that your reaction was not so prudent, ask him what he feels and what he thinks of this, because you wish to carry on once having cleared as much as possible, this incident.

    Everything that goes well and everything that goes wrong in a relationship is a matter of two, never just one. So be sincere.

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  • Well it depends on what he did. If you overreacted then it must be something that has hurt you. I don't think you should be the one apologizing. Of course the way you reacted was wrong but he needs to ask for forgiveness too. If you think that whatever he did is worth apologizing for, then do it.

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  • explain why you are sorry and how you will prevent it from happening again, what you learned, etc.

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  • Apologize with detail

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