Why is it wrong to date multiple people?

Before you come down on me like the Wrath of God, I'm not referring to guy A having both Girl A and Girl B has his girlfriends, I'm talking about going on dates with multiple people.

Example: With online dating, Are you going to message one person that suits your interests and only wait for their response? OR Are you going to message multiple people that suits your interests and wait for their response?

The Same philosophy follows with regular dating, You meet multiple people till you find one that works best for you, I think its one of those things we try to deny it exists but in the back of our minds we know its there but don't like being reminded about it.

What do you think?

  • Because its morally wrong. (Explain)
    11% (1)40% (4)26% (5)Vote
  • It isn't wrong (Explain)
    89% (8)60% (6)74% (14)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I think it's a reasonable strategy. It's very logical to plant many seeds because it increases your success for a healthy plant. I think most people do this subconsciously but wouldn't really say it out loud. Most people on earth want to have success in their endeavors whether it be in a relationship or business. More options generally increases your chances of success. I would never be in a relationship with more than one person at the same time but in the process of cultivating a relationship I think it's normal to keep all your options open.

    To answer whether it's morally wrong or not I'll leave that up to the individual. I can understand and prefer exclusivity while in a relationship but until that time everybody wants the best person they can find.

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What Girls Said 4

  • It's not wrong to date multiple people as long as you don't promise exclusivity and are honest about it. If I had several guys pursuing me at once (HAH) I would spend time with each of them on casual coffee dates and see who clicks with me best. If one really holds my interest, I'll see if he feels the same, then maybe become exclusive in a reasonable amount of time. There's always a favorite.

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    • Also, I think dating multiple people would keep someone from settling for -anyone- despite lack of attraction, etc. to avoid loneliness.

  • I think it's fine as long as you haven't agreed to be exclusive. Up until that point you're free to do as you like!

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  • I don't think it's wrong. After all, that's the whole point of dating isn't it? To find someone you're most compatible with/want to be with?

    I personally haven't ever been very good with dating multiple people at once, but I don't think it's wrong at all

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  • I don't think it's wrong, it's just not for me. I think you have a better chance of making a relationship work of you focus on one person at a time.

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What Guys Said 7

  • Honestly, dating multiple people is mainly for people not looking for a relationship. If you're looking for a relationship and keeping multiple girls around, you're asking for trouble.

    Online dating is a little different because a guy can message a ton of girls, but very few of them are going to reply. Girls reply if they are interested. I honestly avoid girls looking for "casual dating" because I know it just means they are going to be off with another guy who messages them and you can't really land a committed relationship with a girl who is constatly involved with other people. You don't know what that other person's limitation are(if they have any).

    I would assume most girls are looking for exclusive dating because the main thing would be to end up in a relationship. Casual dating is more for people who are not looking for a relationship. If you're going on dates with someone and then going from that date to another date with someone else, if either of them find out, you're gonna be called a player even if you're not in a relationship with either of them.

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  • By the end of the day, you might be happy finding the person you'd like to get to know better, but think about the tens, hundreds, thousands, etc of people you leave in your wake. Not saying that you devalued them in your path, don't have the wrong impression, but accidental attraction happens and when it does someone ends up hurt - whether yourself or another it's entirely unpredictable.

    Now here's the switch, I have no problem with the idea as long as people aren't deceived. There's a very fine wire to walk unless your honest in the beginning

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  • Depends how invested a person is. If they've show they've invested a lot with the other person, a few dates, etc, then I think the other person would be annoyed to find the one they like dating different people.

    I.e, currently with this girl I like, if she was dating other people too I wouldn't like it, partly because I feel as if being myself wouldn't be enough and I'd have to change myself because of 'competition'. Although if it's a girl I've just got knowing and she's already dating, fair enough.

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  • It isn't wrong as long as there's no misunderstanding of everyone's intentions.

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  • Nothing wrong but you shouldn't be dishonest about it.

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  • It's not wrong IF you let them know about it from the start. If you hide it from them, then it is wrong. Because you're lying to them and leading them on for your own selfish desires and ya... don't do that.

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    • I don't think you need to tell the other person. If you haven't agreed to be exclusive you're free to do as you please.

    • IF they ask, yes tell them but I don't think it's necessary for you to bring it up.

    • maybe, but I think it's fair to be open and honest from the start.

  • I don't think there's anything wrong. as long as you do it honestly and don't like and say you are only seeing that person

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