Is it okay to deviously hurt someone after they hurt you greatly?

My ex girlfriend rebound some guy after dating me for one year.

While dating him, we promised that we would remain friends...Well her new boyfriend didn't really agree to that so assuming that this was all his idea that she never really gave me the time of day for about 6-7 months of them dating.

How I felt about this? Devastated, especially since I still had feelings for her.

Well here it comes, 4 months ago they broke up and guess who came crawling back to me.

I accepted her companionship back with open arms.

However...2 months later she went back to him and continued the same charade. Fine, fool me once shame on you fool me twice...etc.

They just broke up a month ago AGAIN and now she made up her mind to never go back to him. Well that's too late because for about 5 weeks now I've been giving her BS excuses on why I am unavailable to hang out. She's trying to get a hold of me via texting, Skype, Facebook, phone calls, and even home phone calls. (No, I don't consider her the crazy type)

I know she's very hurt from what I'm doing.

Any reassuring or disagreeing comments?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Don't cut contact with her because you want to hurt her, do it for yourself. Continuing a friendship with her doesn't sound like it's very good for your emotional health, and you're not giving yourself a chance to really get over her and move on with your life.

    If it were me, I'd probably give her an explanation. Something like, "I was open to remaining friends with you, but the way you've been handling our friendship has been selfish and hurtful to me. You ignore me when you have a boyfriend, and then expect my friendship when it suits you. It's unfair to me, and so for that reason, I no longer want to remain friends." After that, I'd cut contact and move on with my life.

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What Girls Said 3

  • I agree with what you're saying and she can't just keep messing with you. She may get the impression that you don't just want to not be dating but that you also may not want to be friends. It's difficult in the presence of someone you love to say "we're only friends" but it's better that way. At some point you may want to meet up with her and clearly state that all you want is friendship. Caution waterworks may start running but it's her realizing she's been rejected. Through a friendship status at some point I'd point out more appealing traits in other women such as loyalty and maturity. She'll get the point but this whole backup thing isn't really going to float your boat. Tell her what she's done wrong and describe how un attractive it is. She may try to change to be more than friends but stick to your guns. I think you have a good start. Hope this helped and good luck! -Sarah

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  • u are doing the right thing she did this to you twice and now she wants you back/ NO,SHE HAD HER CHANCE,REMEMBER SHE IS only TRYING TOCOME BACK BECAUSE THINGS DIDNT WORK OUT WITH HIM,IF THEYHAD,U WOUDLDNT BE ON HERE NOW..I WOULDNT EVER TRUST HER AGAIN

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  • You should have cut contact with her to begin with, especially considering you still had feelings for her and knew you wouldn't be able to be just friends while she moved on with another guy.

    She's, unfortunately, using you as a rebound now from this guy and you're just doing what you should've done the first time. If she continues to contact you, let her know that you have to move on for YOU...not to spite her.

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What Guys Said 1

  • same bs happened to me except I was the rebound. it never stops. once you let her keep switching back and forth between you and someone else she will never stop until you or he ends it.

    I say you just go with ignoring from this point on. It will destroy her more than anything else - girls can't take it when someone ignores them but in this case she deserves it.

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