Should you tell a guy you're dating other guys when you're single?

I'm a very honest person. I'm single and still don't know what I want. I'm dating 2 guys at the same time which is also something I've done in the past but I was always honest with guys and told them if I was keeping my options open. But this one guy I'm seeing really developed feelings for me. He has told me he loved me and that I was the only one he wanted to be with. In response I told him I wanted to take things a lot slower and I couldn't tell him I loved him but I honestly like him alot. I think he wants to be exclusive. I don't want to lose him but I don't want to be exclusively with him. I want to explore my options. He's very emotional and I don't want to hurt him but I want to be honest with him. I didn't tell him that I'm seeing another guy who I really like alot. Because I don't want him to get mad or hurt. He has told me that he only wants to be with me and he expects the same from me. But I don't see eye to eye with that. And I don't know how to tell him the truth. I don't see anything wrong with what I'm doing but my instinks are telling me he will


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Damn. I went through something similar with a girl couple of years ago. Only thing I can say is be true to who you are, and if you say you're an honest girl then be straight up with the guy. Let him know that you are seeing another person since right now you're weighing your options. He's not gonna like it, believe me, but if his moral code is to be with a girl who only wants him then you should do him a favor by letting him go so he can find that kind of girl. It's the only respectful thing to do since you did say you "don't see eye to eye" with his thoughts on the matter. Why keep him on a leash, ya know?

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    • I'm not necessarily keeping him on a leash. He's free to date other girls. We're not in a committed relationship. But if he did I guess I would want to know. For my benefit. So yea he deserves the truth I guess. Thanks for the advice

    • Well, when I said "keep him on leash", I was referring to the idea that since he seems rather emotional he may have attached himself to you without you having enforced anything upon him, so by telling him the truth you essentially allow him to let himself go.

      And you're welcome. :)

What Guys Said 5

  • Maybe not immediately, maybe not during the first date. For one thng, he'll assume you are dating others at that point, probably.

    But after that, if you're going to continue seeing each other, it's dishonest to conceal the oter guys..or girls! The assumption then becomes that you're on the way to something serious, and you need to be honest with each other and tell each other what is going on.

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  • You have to tell it to him, that you're also dating other people... he will be upset, yes.. but he will be DEVASTATED when he will find that out by himself without you telling it first (and eventually he will find that) so... can you see it now, what you have to do?

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  • "I'm a very honest person"

    +

    " I didn't tell him that I'm seeing another guy who I really like alot."

    +

    "I don't see anything wrong with what I'm doing "

    ---> problem ?

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  • 29 years and you're going out with 2 different guys and they don't know about it?!

    You seriously need to grow up. You're not a child any more. Chose the guy that suits you best and let the other one down softly.

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  • Sounds like you are being selfish and trying to have your cake and eat it too.

    You are 29, its time to grow up.

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What Girls Said 1

  • From the beginning, you must keep note to tell that kind of information right away so there are no disappointments and so that you'd have avoided having to tell the truth later (which is harder). Also exploring your options is possible to do dating one guy at a time.

    Okay, enough with looking back. Let's see what we do now.

    According to this link it wouldn't be wise to tell him about your dating habits unless you feel a mutual connection.

    If you really want to tell him, I'd suggest going straightforward. "Hey I don't know how to tell you this but I'm dating someone else to explore my options, and I'm hoping that you're okay with that?" Sorry but it should be expected that he won't be.

    Focusing on you, just start dating one at a time so you can really tune in to how they are and be able to decide better which man you want to have a relationship with. Until you can say "Wow, I really want to be with This person", it's best to keep things simple (one date at a time) and prevent things from going down the drain before you even get to see what these men are really like.

    Anyways, I hope this helps! :D

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